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Ex having new baby with on-off girlfriend kids barely know what do I do?

(5 Posts)
user1498924981 Sun 09-Jul-17 20:47:41

I'm really not sure what to do here - my ex has been seeing someone on and off for (what he says) is a year but since I've had 4 'let's try agains' during that period including one in January, I know it's clearly not been a committed year!

He told me last month that she was 6 months pregnant and would now like to introduce her to the children (I have two boys aged 6 and 7), leaving a double whammy of crazy for them to deal with in only 12 weeks before the half sibling arrives.

They have never lived together before, she is 40 years old with no children of her own and has only met the boys twice to date.

My ex has now told me she's moving into his rental property (we're not divorced yet still wrangling over finances) and I'm in a quandry what to do about the boys staying over. This relationship is clearly shotgun and unstable , they barely know the woman and I just don't want to rock their security etc.

Has anyone been in any similar crazy situation that can offer any advice on mine? Should I suggest no overnights until they are used to the situation or do I just suck it up and deal with the consequences?


OP’s posts: |
oldstudentmum Mon 10-Jul-17 21:33:25

Well I would not be letting the kids sleep over! This "relationship" doesnt sound stable or that it will even last. They havent lived together and Chuck a baby into the mix I can forsee big probs ahead. I would suggest six months of them being "together" your children are prob stil dealing with your separtion I personally would not be throwing anything more at them xx

Chasingsquirrels Tue 11-Jul-17 16:58:27

It's not really your call to do anything is it?
Do they overnight with their father currently? If so then that arrangement continues and he deals with settling their family into its new arrangements.
If they don't currently overnight then they continue to see him as usual, and he deals with how he integrates his family.
If you think he is unsafe for them to be with then you take steps to protect them.

user1498924981 Tue 11-Jul-17 21:47:39

Yes they currently do overnights with him but considering the fact they have only met the girlfriend twice I personally think this whole thing is rushed plus he clearly stated they have no idea if it's going to last. Unless they're committed to making it work I feel very uneasy about chucking my kids into the trial situation. Why not wait until they are certain about living together and then have them overnight? I know I have no legal rights here I'm just wondering what others have done in similar situations - don't get me wrong I'm not relishing the overnights stopping as I lose any life of my own but I can't help the feeling them happening with what I know is not the right thing to just accept without a fight

OP’s posts: |
Whattheacktual Tue 11-Jul-17 21:49:26

None of your business I'm afraid.

If he's good enough to mind them he's good enough to mind them. And make his own decisions.

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