Advanced search

Working & contact- what is fair

(4 Posts)
sothisisnew Wed 14-Jun-17 14:58:58

A few threads have got me thinking about when two parents split up- what is fair for who works and who looks after the children. For example, where one parent gives up working or reduces their hours in order to be the 'primary carer', while the other sticks with their job and cares for the child less.

It seems that women all too often get saddled with the former, as it is assumed that they should by their partner and wider society (and possibly themselves), and their jobs are typically less well paid so it makes more financial sense for the family- it may even be that doing it the other way around isn't viable.

From a feminist point of view, I find this tricky as it may be that the woman finds herself in this position where she feels she has to, but it also may well be that they take this role happily as they would prefer to look after their children than stay at work.

This situation then may become tricky when the couple split and there may be a perception from the working (more) parent that they are forced to bankroll the other's part time life 'choice'.

If the trend now is for 50:50 co-parenting, this may also be difficult for the reasons stated above- but should this be a choice on a split, if it's possible? Can the previously primary caring parent object to this, by view of them having assumed this role full time previously?

What do people think?

sothisisnew Wed 21-Jun-17 12:46:15

I'm so disappointed no one else is interested in this!!

NotJanine Wed 21-Jun-17 12:53:11


This topic is really used for advice and support for people going through separation and divorce and discussing actual situations rather than theoretical ones. So I think you'd probably get a better response if you posted in another topic, maybe the feminism one?

sothisisnew Thu 22-Jun-17 11:09:52

Ok thanks, I'll delete.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: