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Will my ex succeed in getting more contact 4 years after an order was made?

(9 Posts)
Sleigh11 Thu 08-Jun-17 22:15:29

I'd appreciate hearing if anyone has been through this process. Approximately 4 years ago my ex was given contact 4pm Friday to 3pm Sunday one weekend and 9 am until 3pm Saturday the next weekend. I resumed the relationship because I couldn't stand the thought of being a part time mummy. We split last august and he has just found out I have started a new relationship. Over the space of a week he has declared undying love, asked me to buy a house with him, marry him etc etc he has bombarded me with texts and letters. I have told him categorically I don't want to resume the relationship and now he is making mediation arrangements knowing full well I won't agree to more contact and that it will inevitably go to court. My question is simply - is he likely to get more contact?In addition to the weekends he's allowed him 3 weeks holiday a year. I'd be grateful for any advice.

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Sleigh11 Thu 08-Jun-17 22:16:07


OP’s posts: |
Jellybean85 Thu 08-Jun-17 22:49:32

Is it every weekend? The children are older now so the order might vary, I was under the impression the starting point now is a fairly even split of joint custody. Unfortunately the reality of a break up is that you both become 'part time parents' ( though
Of course no parent is!)
What sort of contact level would you think is best for the kids?

NeverTwerkNaked Thu 08-Jun-17 22:59:30

That doesn't give you much weekend time with them !
Might be better to go back to mediation and come up with a plan which maybe allows him more overall contact but gives you more weekend time with the kids?
It is hard, so hard, being a "part-time parent" but ultimately it has to be about what is right for your kids

Hermonie2016 Fri 09-Jun-17 09:01:47

You will have to reasonable and hear his requests for contacts.Its about the children's rights to see both parents so their ages and circumstances are relevant.

A more typical schedule is every other weekend and 1 night in the week.

Hulder Fri 09-Jun-17 09:09:19

It gives you no weekends at all. Plus the children are older and presumably have their own commitments and opinions.

Suggest thinking about what you want, what the kids want and what is logistically and financially doable and going back to mediation with something like every other weekend, one overnight a week in mind.

Sleigh11 Fri 09-Jun-17 12:32:48

My sons father has said he can't see him mid week due to the logistics-he lives 35/40 mins away. My son is only 7 and has said he thinks my 2 Sundays a month are unfair but of course the court won't ask his opinion.

I worry about my son establishing relationships with school friends. How can he do that when he's so far away at weekends. I try and encourage play dates but it is difficult on school nights when our daily routine limits the time we have.

The frustrating thing is his father is doing this to punish me. He's not thinking of our son. When I wouldn't resume the relationship last time he threatened court and he did the same this time. From past experience I know he (my son)will be foisted off on other members of the family will my ex persues his very busy social life so it's not as if they will be spending quality time together. When I raised this in court previously the judge said it was up to my ex how he spent the time allocated with my son which seems ridiculous to me!

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Hulder Fri 09-Jun-17 18:17:14

30-40 minutes away is the time of a normal work commute, in many cases less. So that argument is bullshit.

Have you got legal advice? You have a lot of things about putting your child's needs first - relationships with school friends, time with you at weekends, his opinion so your reasons are not just being obstructive for the sake of it.

Sleigh11 Fri 09-Jun-17 18:36:47

Thank you all for your comments
Really helpful
I will seek legal advice and keep
You posted. I agree that my sons welfare is paramount and will endeavour to be objective and make sure that he's always the first consideration. Thanks again.

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