Being Walked out on.

[ELER87]

Hey Ladies. Hope we're all well. I'm just here to offload more than anything because over the last 2 weeks, I've had the weight of the word on my shoulders.
I'm a mother of 2 that was, until 11 days ago in a 6yr relationship with someone that I thought was the love of my life. We shared a home, a child and he took on my son, as his Biological hasn't bothered with him for 4yrs. Ok so this is where it all gets a bit complicated. Me and him have had ALOT to deal with in the years we where together. I truly believe he had a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Every trait he has, he's got a multitude of issues and the past few yrs have been such a Yoyo of emotions. We would be ontop of the world one minute and as bad as bad can be the next. When we met he had an Alcohol problem, he grew up in a house of alcoholics, his Dad and brother committed suicide, his mother didn't care about him and he lost his daughter through a custody battle after he had nursed her back to health from Cancer at the age of 4. So when I met him he was a very troubled, addictive, a very Hard work person. He is VERY needy, very desensitised to emotions and can be INCREDIBLY selfish. But you can't help who you fall in love with can you. When we met in 2011 he told me after 5 days he loved me. And I fell for him there and then. We have had so many good times together and a few bad. Then in 2015 I found out I was pregnant. It was a happy time but also a hard time as we where going through a bad period. I was only 12 weeks into my pregnancy when he left me, out of the blue. I was devastated. He was gone for several weeks. Acted as if we didn't exist. Was with another woman. Then when i was nearly 30weeks he knocked on my door wanting to try again. And me being pregnant and vulnerable said ok. He made me a barrage of promises and said he'd get help for the drinking and well, he did. Our daughter was born and it was like he was reborn. He was a completely different person. It was amazing. We where a family. Happy. He was still a hard work person, like i said, Narcissists are difficult to live with, but we always came through and was happy. Up until the drinking started again. He use to drink daily. A lot. It was madness. And that stopped. He would socially drink on a Friday or Saturday and it'd be a normal amount. Then the normal amount started increasing, to amounts that would make him pass out. Then he'd increase the length of drinking to 2/3 days instead of 1. And my son started seeing him passed out on the floor or on the sofa. I was telling him and telling him time and time again that it needed to stop and he'd agree but it wouldn't. I'd carry on, feeling happy thinking everything would be ok. And it wasn't. I was blinded by him. Until 11 days ago when he went to watch the Boxing in Sheffield. We was good, he was messaging me telling me he loved me etc and how he was going to behave etc, And I was to expect him home early hours. So I stayed up. Wasn't until 7am the next morning I get a text telling me how drunk he was. I had stayed awake all night waiting for him, baring in mind the Manchester Attack had JUST happened. I was worried sick. So I sent him a angry message and after that he didn't come home until 2am Monday morning when he passed out on the living room floor surrounded by Chinese food and my son found him at 7am in the morning. He got up and came to bed. I told him how disgusting he was, he said some choice words and he stayed in bed all day. He hadn't seen his daughter since Saturday dinner time; and he wasn't moving to see her any time soon that day either. He got up on Tuesday morning to go to work and that's the last we saw of him. He messaged me saying he was leaving me. It was all my fault, I will never change, I caused him to leave and I had to pack his stuff up. I was devastated. My family was again falling apart around me, so me being upset and hurt begged him to come home, he ignored all my pleas, only messaging for more stuff. So I got angry and sent him some truths. He got angry back and blamed me even more, called me all sorts, said it was my fault, I ruined everything. And here we are today. He's still messaging for stuff. He hasn't asked about or seen his child or my son who was starting to call him dad, for 12 days. He went straight to his parents, they are alcoholics and his mother is narcissistic too. I messaged her when he left saying she shouldn't of allowed him to move in there, he has a family and responsibilities and she said she wasn't going to see him on the streets, and when I responded with he wouldn't be, he'd of swallowed his pride and come home, she told me to eff off. Then a few days later messaged wanting to take my daughter to their house. In the little time my girls been on this planet, I've sheltered her from them, so there's not a chance in hell I'm letting them take her off me to go anywhere now. Her dad hasn't bothered with her either. He's told me he will see her on Sundays and that's it. Because work in the week, and gym afterwards. Saturdays drinking day and Sunday is Daughter Day. NO ITS NOT! She's more important than anything and if you can't see that, you're not seeing her. So I'm threatened and told I'm just like every other Mum out there who uses their child as a weapon. And it's all because I can't have him anymore. So here we are today. I'm now alone, hurt, angry, trying to stop loving someone like him. Upset for my kids. Stressed as I have to find somewhere else to live in 2 months as on the day he told me he wasn't coming home, my landlord told me he was selling the house. It's just been one thing after another for the last few days. I know the things everyone has told me are true, I'm well shot, deserve better, to good for him etc. They don't seem to help at the moment though. Because I'm getting the blame for all of this and I don't know why he's done this. It's just all so mind boggling. I really needed to get that off my chest. The more i vent the more I see that i don't deserve all of this. It helps me a bit. Hope I haven't bored anyone. Sorry it's so long. 😂

[crazykitten20]

You're right. You deserve much much better xxx

[rizlett]

But you can't help who you fall in love with can you.

Yes you can.

[FurryDogMother]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. You'll be well rid of him, because he won't change, and you sound like you're a great Mum. It's going to be a difficult transition - always is - but you and your children will be much better off in the end. Wishing you all the best and strength to get through it.

[Finola1step]

It is time to step off the merry-go-round that is your relationship. You can't save him, no matter how hard you try. Now is the time to focus on the practical side of things. Focus on sorting your housing situation.