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Divorce before/after sale of marital home?

(4 Posts)
user1496606740 Sun 04-Jun-17 21:16:51

hi all. I'm new here...
Looking for some advice please. It's become evident that husband and I will be separating and divorcing in due course. Our marital home is up for sale but is proving difficult to get a buyer (or maybe I'm just too impatient). The advice I was given by my solicitor was to not leave the marital home. So my plan was to move to separate homes after the sale of the house and then to start divorce proceedings. However, as time goes on I'm getting more and more anxious to just get the ball rolling and come out the other side!!! So my question is this... are there any mummies out there who started divorce proceedings whilst still living under the same roof and how difficult is this in reality?? I have to add as this will probably not be an amicable divorce and will more than likely lead to court etc.. he is in complete denial and will not communicate with me at all on the subject. I'm not even sure how he will react once he realises it really is over.

misswhatdoto2 Mon 05-Jun-17 21:46:25

I am! Have applied for nisi and house is on the market at the moment. Has been VERY difficult under the same roof and we have now become very good and avoiding each other and only talking when necessary.

Financials are still not 100% agreed but until we have a buyer I'm not too worried as will be going into rental for a year whereas stbxh is trying to buy so he will not want things to be dragged out too much as will need proceeds for his deposit.
Just be aware that when he receives the divorce paperwork it makes things a lot more awkward, especially when you see it land on the doormat and know what it is!
He wanted to wait the 2years before divorce but in my mind, the decision has been made so why drag things out longer than necessary.

My only worry was that he would stall and refuse to sell the house but hasn't been an issue so far and had signed estate agents paperwork saying he is willing to sell. If he changed his mind it would have got a lot messier by having to get courts to force do sale.

Good luck. Is a lot to take on all at the same time xxx

Hardym Tue 06-Jun-17 09:25:08

Thank you so much for your reply it is extremely helpful. We don't talk to each other anyway... avoiding as much as possible, sleeping in separate rooms and only really speaking when absolutely necessary usually about the kids. Do you have children? Have you told them? We live in a VERY large house and the change for them will be massive (I have no idea what I'm going to do with all their stuff!).

I plan to move to rented too as I will need to find work before I can get a mortgage which will probably still not be enough to buy anything decent to house me and my 2 boys. So I will probably continue to rent and perhaps buy a buy to let flat as an investment.

I have visions of when the paperwork hits the mat but enough is enough I've dragged this out for too long. It's very clear it's over so not sure what I'm waiting for. Last time I mentioned divorce he claimed he was stressed and quit his job which has put us in a lot of debt. I'm worried that he will do the same again but this time it will completely ruin us financially!!! But I need to quit worrying about his controlling behaviour and just get out of this hell hole.

He's really lazy with paperwork too... everything he's ever had to fill out I've done for him. In fact he wouldn't even know where to look for half the stuff he'll need so I'm also worried about that part of it too.

Thanks again for replying and I wish you all the best of luck xx

Ps if you would like to stay in touch I would love to keep this thread going to share our progress with each other 😊

plasticcheese Tue 06-Jun-17 10:40:37

I'm in a similar situation too, we are living totally separate lives under the same roof, 2 kids who know what is happening. I have filed for divorce, just waiting for his papers to arrive, dead scared even though he knows what is in them. The house is under offer and I don't think he will challenge anything as he won't pay any legal fees. He also has never filled out any forms, paid any bills etc so is used to me doing everything - going to be a big shock when he gets his own place.

I would definitely get divorce proceedings underway, as you'll need to agree (with mediation or a sol) as to the split of the proceeds, and you need a judge to stamp the consent form as part of the divorce. Without that you have no way of knowing how to split any equity or even what you are entitled to, and either of you could claim all sorts of things from the other one. Please see a sol asap!

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