Taking First Step

[jennyt19]

Hi All

Just taking the first step along this horrible depressing road and I think I need moral support.

I'm going to visit the solicitors tomorrow. I had to twist their arm for a free consultation (they wanted to charge £280 p.h. and I said I thought you'd offer a free consultation)!! Bit worrying as all the solicitors had a completely free diary for today and tomorrow. I'm worried that means there no good!

I know more or less the process. I shall be petitioning for unreasonable behaviour, although I know my dh has probably fooled around. He's been emotionally abusing me for years so its no great loss.

We've informally agreed what arrangements when it comes to DS. We shall go for joint custody (if there is such a thing). My husband does shifts so he will stay with me most of the time and visit DH when he's not working.

What bothers me is the finances. I earn a bit more than him and I'm a saver, whereas he's a spender. I also provided the deposit when we purchased the house, heaven knows why. I have a large amount of savings and I don't particularly want to share it with him. He had plenty of opportunities to save but decided to go out and enjoy himself instead and to buy himself a large number of presents. What do you think my chances will be?

Also I'm wondering what sort of things to include in the unreasonable behaviour. I'm trying to think of ways of writing some of the stuff that has happened over the years without inflaming him. For now I have to live with him and he is so sensitive. He sees insults all the time when no insult was given or sees people pull faces when they're clearly not. When he explodes he can get really scary and I'd so rather keep the peace until he's gone.

[Ramble]

I can't help I'm afraid but I wanted to wish you luck. I'm about to start the process very soon but for the reasons you don't want to discuss things about unreasonable behaviour with your stbxh I don't want to broach it with mine until I'm ready.