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Separation/Divorce after Husband had an Affair

(5 Posts)
user1495569415 Tue 23-May-17 21:59:45

I have two daughters 10yrs and 6yrs and I recently found out my DH was having an affair with a mature student he was teaching (he is 40yrs and she is 29yrs). He wanted to leave immediately and said the he loves her and she loves him and he has moved in with her. He is adamant he is not coming back. We have been together for nearly 20 years and married for 10 years. He has agreed to look after the girls 3 days per week (Fri, Sat and Sun) so that I can go to work on one day and try and also develop online business so that I can work more flexibly and increase my hours to 16 a week so I can claim tax credits. We have a house - with both our names on the mortgage which is currently rented out and the house we are currently living in which only has his name on the mortgage. Can I continue to live in the family house we are currently living in with my daughters? Can I expect him to pay the mortgage or contribute towards it and/or the bills? We are hoping to sort things out amicably. I want to make sure that me and my daughters are as secure as possible because due to his work hours (he does not want to go part time) and the fact that we home educate I am limited in the number of hours I can work.

OP’s posts: |
Mermaidinthesea123 Tue 23-May-17 22:04:45

Deals very much depend on peoples individual circumstances and finances, you really need to see a solicitor asap to get proper advice on this as it's complicated.
Unfortunately and it's very unfair the adultery is not a considering factor in this. It ought to be but it isn't.

user1495569415 Tue 23-May-17 22:41:44

Thanks Mermaid. I did pay for a one off diagnostic consultation but I forgot to ask what the implications were if we chose to stay in the family home until the children are 18yrs. The solicitor said it was an option. Because I have a very limited earning capacity I wondered if I can expect my husband to continue to contribute towards the mortgage payments and bills if I claim child and working tax credits. I am not entitled to housing benefit or council tax benefit reduction. I know each family circumstance is unique but I wondered if anyone had encountered a similar issue where the husband's name is the sole name on the mortgage.

OP’s posts: |
Mermaidinthesea123 Tue 23-May-17 22:47:38

Well one of my friends at work in a similar situation was not allowed to stay in the home even though she had young children. The husband had to pay maintenance for them but he moved back into the house and she rented.
Can you not give the tenenats of your joint property notice, that way you could probably wangle staying until you can move to the other house.
I guess if your husband is amicable you could agree amongst yourselves what to do and he might allow you to stay there.
Me and my husband after initial infighting agreed our own divorce as fighting over it in court would have cost us at least £30,000 for the finances and we decided it would be madness to even go there.

user1495630184 Fri 16-Jun-17 06:14:10

Are you both thinking of filing for a divorce? Same situation happened to be with my sister. Her husband cheated her and started to live in with another girl. My sister can't take this any more and immediately filed up for the divorce by hiring up a lawyer. Initially, she has to search for finding a right lawyer on different best sites and other social sites. She is a happy independent working women now taking care of her son all alone and enjoying.

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