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Separated for 2 years, just asked H for a divorce

(7 Posts)
Lovemusic33 Sun 21-May-17 17:26:02

Thought I was being reasonable offering to pay half. He has a new partner so I thought he would be keen to get it sorted, should be quite straight forward (no money to sort, no property) but he says he can't afford to do it at the moment. I'm not sure how much it costs, somewhere around £500 I think but I am saving for a car which I desperately need and if I pay for it all I could end up in a tricky situation without a car. So do I pay for it all and let him pay me back when he can afford it or do I just wait? Feels like 2 years has been a long enough wait.

OP’s posts: |
RandomMess Sun 21-May-17 17:28:48

Hmmm leave him to divorce you when his new partner gets fed up of him still being married to you? You could still then offer to pay half...

Lovemusic33 Sun 21-May-17 17:38:40

I was hoping it would have happened by now, he has been with her quite a while. He said, he can't afford it as he's moving house and has just got a speeding fine (not my problem).

OP’s posts: |
RandomMess Sun 21-May-17 17:44:58

Perhaps because he knows you are keen to be divorced he's just delaying so you pay for it all!

yourcarisnotadiscovery Sun 21-May-17 17:48:07

OP - yes should be straightforward after having lived apart for 2 years (so no major legal bills) but still up front cost of £550 which it sounds like you would end up paying. I'd hang on in there until his hand is forced by new partner?

Lovemusic33 Sun 21-May-17 19:42:19

I will wait a bit and see what happens, I only dropped the bomb shell when he dropped dd off earlier, hopefully he will tell his new partner and she will encourage him to cough up the money to get it sorted.

I'm not in a relationship but people (men) seem to think it's a bit odd that I'm still married after being separated for over 2 years, I would like it sorted but it's not the end of the world as I have no plans in marrying anyone else.

OP’s posts: |
murrell0cherri Mon 22-May-17 13:05:31

If you have been separated for two years it should be a straightforward application which you can make based on two years separation without having to blame anyone under the unreasonable behaviour ground for divorce.

If you are in receipt of benefits or on a lower income you may be entitled to help with the fee of £550. Under the fee remission system you can get help with the full fee or a partial contribution/reduction.

The following are very helpful:

www.divorcebox.com/fee-remission/

www.gov.uk/get-help-with-court-fees

You could always make the application yourself and be control of the situation.

Relying on someone to prioritise a divorce application could involve a long wait, divorce is not a 'nice' situation for anyone (although many do move on to better chapters in their lives) . There can be a long list of reasons (or excuses) for not coughing up.

Getting it sorted now also allows everyone to move on to the next chapter of there lives.

Hope this helps.

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