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Divorce/separation

Grounds for Divorce in the UK

23 replies

mimimari11 · 17/05/2017 11:48

My husband & I married 7 years ago, at the time we both chose not to have kids, however, a year ago my husband changed his mind and he wants kids. Since then we have lived like brother & sister basically we no longer love one another, about 2 months ago I left him and we decided to get a divorce.

I have been told by a solicitor that refusal for having children is not enough for divorce, which I found it rediculous!
I visited a site that says:
Relatively mild allegations such as devoting too much time to a career, having no common interests or pursuing a separate social life may well suffice.
*Your spouse refuses to discuss the issues within the marriage with the Petitioner.
*Your spouse does not want to engage in any sexual or physical relations with the Petitioner.

Did anyone get a divorce on these grounds?

Could you please share with me your ground for divorce, as it seems that we need to make up some reasons.

Thanks you

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OdinsLoveChild · 17/05/2017 11:54

Why do you need to make up reasons when you have one already?

Unreasonable behaviour and your evidence is:
'Your spouse does not want to engage in any sexual or physical relations with the Petitioner'

Judges rarely argue about whether a divorce should be granted or not. Usually if it involves children and huge sums of money it can be difficult to unpick a marriage but I think its mainly a form ticking exercise if both parties agree and there little by way of ties to each other.

Get a different solicitor too. I know solicitors that argue the stupidest things and still get divorces done.

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biscuitytrousers · 17/05/2017 12:05

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mimimari11 · 17/05/2017 16:26

Thank you so much,
I added 2 more reason to your list, could you please share your opinion?

  1. The Respondent and the Petitioner have not had a physical relationship since November 2016 .


  1. All love, attention affection has disappeared between The Respondent and the Petitioner.


  1. The Respondent and the Petitioner have not been able to move past their differing opinions about whether to have children.


  1. The Respondent and the Petitioner argue frequently meaning that the atmosphere between them is tense and hostile.


  1. The Respondent and the Petitioner show no interest in socialising with each other and prefers to socialise alone with friends.


  1. The Petitioner left the marital home 3 months ago when it was agreed that the marriage had broken down irretrievably.
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fiftyplustwo · 17/05/2017 16:33

What a hassle. Strangely it hasn't been "harmonised" over the EU over the years when they've attempted to do so with everything else. (Where I am you'd just file for a divorce and six months later it's a fact, no reasons needed.) I understand now why there is a market for private investigators and similar.

Good luck!

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biscuitytrousers · 17/05/2017 17:21

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mimimari11 · 17/05/2017 18:17

biscuitytrousers Thank you again,
With the above grounds is it going to be straightforward, without a need for solicitor!
Do you know how long is going to take?

X

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biscuitytrousers · 17/05/2017 18:56

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mimimari11 · 17/05/2017 19:43

I did go through the divorce petition, do I need to tick any box in part 10 (Prayer) if I do not want anything from him?
Also, it is stated in the divorce petition that I would need to certify the marriage certificate, but the divorce guide states:
"One original or certified marriage/civil partnership certificate – photocopies will not be accepted. (In cases of urgent applications it may be possible for you to provide an undertaking to the court to deliver the original or a certified copy of the marriage/civil partnership certificate to the court at a later date.)"
Is there anything else except for petition, marriage certificate and £550 chq, for example ( Passport, ID, or any other documnets)


Thanks again x

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mimimari11 · 17/05/2017 22:53

one more,
Is it better to be the petitioner or respondent? since my Ex-partner lazy & bad with paperwork, he would not bother to check his mails.

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biscuitytrousers · 18/05/2017 08:55

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mimimari11 · 18/05/2017 13:26

Thank you, I really appreciate your help x

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mimimari11 · 18/05/2017 13:38

When I send the petition & other documents to the court, how long will it take for the court to send out the acknowledgement to my Ex-partner?
So I can remind him to check his mails.

Thank you x

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biscuitytrousers · 18/05/2017 13:47

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AnnaThursday · 18/05/2017 13:51

It will take approx a week for your partner to receive the
petition.
I put in a straight forward divorce petition in January this year
and the Decree Absolute was granted in April.
All the correspondence I had with the court was very short
turnaround from the court.
Can I ask which divorce court district you're applying to, mimi?

Can I make a suggestion that you put dates on all your list of 'reasons'

  • the judge needs to know these events happened less than 6 months ago.
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AnnaThursday · 18/05/2017 13:51

x post

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Clg199 · 18/05/2017 13:58

My solicitor said that examples of unreasonable behaviour could be things that I saw as unreasonable, rather than the examples given in the guidance which included drug and alcohol dependency I think.

I used examples of us going on holiday and arguing and having a terrible time, his controlling behaviour over when and where I was allowed to drive my car and other relatively minor things like that. All small things, but put together they made life pretty miserable. I had no problems with getting the divorce, and your reasons look more 'valid' than mine.

Sorry it has come to this for you, but I felt like a weight had lifted when mine was sorted. Good luck :-)

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biscuitytrousers · 18/05/2017 14:05

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mimimari11 · 18/05/2017 15:08

Thank you Ladies it means a lot :)

Mine would be Bury St Edmund Regional Divorce Center.

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AnnaThursday · 18/05/2017 20:40

The solicitor I had explained that if the behaviour has been
going on for more than 6 months, as far as the courts are concerned it shows the petitioner has learnt to live with it and so it's not unreasonable.
Best to cross all the Ts than have the petition sent back.

Good luck, OP, mine was at Southampton and it was very quick - hope
yours is the same.

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mimimari11 · 18/05/2017 21:39

Thank you, Anna,

To be honest, I need to get over with this asap, don't want him to get a share of my inheritance (which is not much) he wants nothing from it, well at least that is what he said. What I am worried about is that someone encourages him to change his mind and apply for a financial order.
I was thinking to meet my ex & ask him to be the petitioner but without ticking the prayers box, so he wouldn't be able to claim anything later.
But can he make a claim during the court procedure if he did not tick the prayers box?
In the case that my Ex is the petitioner, will the court notify me if there is any changes or progress, or when I can apply for decree nisi & decree absolute?

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AnnaThursday · 19/05/2017 18:41

You're welcome, mimi. The decree nisi will be posted to you by the court
(assuming you don't have solicitor in which case the court will send it to them) it's just the decree absolute that has to be applied for - my ex got the decree posted to him straight from the court - I'm still waiting for mine to be posted to me by my solicitors.
Sorry I don't know the answer to your query but I started out doing my
divorce myself and everything was straight forward enough but I suffer from anxiety and by the time it came to filling in the form confirming ex's signature with the archaic letter "A" I found it too much so appointed the fixed price solicitors at Wikivorce. And it was worth it for the relief from stress alone.
You can call them for free advice - I did that first, I found the chap I spoke to very easy to talk to and down to earth. I think you'll be really quicker diy, I was at the post office first thing next day returning necessary documents to the courts - recorded/guaranteed next day delivery. But give the solicitors a ring and see what they say. There's also a wikivorce forum but not everyone on there is an expert on the details you need - even if they pretend they are.
Good luck, mimi

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JanetBrown2015 · 19/05/2017 21:52

Make sure before your decree absolute you and he agree a consent order on finances which the court seals and in particular get this done before the inheritance arrives and indeed before decree absolute.

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mimimari11 · 08/06/2017 15:28

Hello Ladies
Just a quick update,
I finally filed a divorce through a solicitor last week they also drafted the consent order so we would send it to the court as soon as I receive the degree nisi.
The solicitor said the acknowledgement to my ex may take up to 4 week due to current delays in the family court divorce centres.

Will try to update this form

Thank you Ladies x

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