Mediation for contact

[user1463172942]

STBXH and I are about to go to mediation as part of divorce proceedings.

He is being rubbish about contact, refusing to agree any type of routine, wanting to come a couple of times a week at a days notice, for an hour or so, but certainly not at times that require him to cook tea, do bedtime etc. He is adamant he does want to see the kids regularly and if I try to insist on a routine he tells me I'm stopping him from being a father to his kids

So I've finally got home to go to mediation (on threat of going to CMS- he's a self employed taxi driver and his bookkeeping is creative. To say the least. So he doesn't want to give anyone an excuse to go through his finances)

So he is saying that he can't ever, under any circumstances have the children on a fri or sat night as it will hit his earnings. I feel this is unfair... I work full time, have the children most of the time and will be a better mum if I get some downtime. The kids will have better quality time with him if it's not on a school day.

I have offered to say he doesn't need to pay maintenance if he has the children sat-Sun once per month. He will only have to pay about £100 pm in total for 3 kids thanks to his creative accounting.

Will the mediators be likely to support me in this? I just feel like he's saying he wants contact but only when it suits him and to hell with what suits the kids and I. His motivation is to stop me having a social life ... his controlling behaviour was one of the key reasons the marriage ended.

[MooseBeTimeForSnow]

You can't force him to have contact if he doesn't want it I'm afraid.

[user1463172942]

I know I can't make him have contact.

But if he insists he wants contact (which he does) surely he doesn't get to just dictate exactly where and when?