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Child meeting the woman who had an affair with my husband

(9 Posts)
lifeishard123 Tue 16-May-17 12:45:48

10 months ago I found out my husband was having an affair with a woman from work. As you can guess I was and still am devastated.
I forgave him a couple of times, tried to work it out for our son and because I still loved him but the affair continued so with a heavy heart I had to go it alone.
My son still sees his dad, that's fine but now he is moving in with the ow and I feel sick. I don't want my son around her, but I feel I have no choice. My xh is saying that I need to get over it and I'm not thinking of my child.
What do you think? Should I accept she will be part of his life or demand that he see's him still away from her? She has been vile towards me and slated me and told lies so I feel uncomfortable with it all really or do I need to let it happen and bury the hurt?

Bumplovin Tue 16-May-17 12:49:10

Gosh this sounds like a terrible situation I'm so sorry didn't want to read and run i hope someone with experience of this comes along soon to offer some advice.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Tue 16-May-17 12:52:05

Unfortunately you have no legal right to stop him having whomever he chooses around your ds. Unless safe guarding issues obviously.
A judge would deem exh capable of making that decision as ds parent. .
Its shit I know but prob best for ds that you approve so he doesn't feel he is betraying you in any sense by being in her company.

Penfold007 Tue 16-May-17 12:52:32

There's nothing you can do, which isn't what you want or need to hear. STBXH is moving in with the OW but will still be DS's father. I'm not saying 'get over it' but you will need to come to terms with it. It's about DS's relationship with his father not your relationship breakdown.

PigletWasPoohsFriend Tue 16-May-17 12:52:54

flowers for you.

Unfortunately no you can't demand he sees him away from her.

NotJanine Tue 16-May-17 12:54:46

It's shit and horrible, but not much you can do about it. Best thing is to try and distance yourself from the 2 of them (him and the OW) as you can. Try not to give them any headspace and have limited communications.

How old is DC?

Teddy6767 Tue 16-May-17 12:57:22

I would be furious about it but I guess there's not a whole lot you can do without stressing your son out and making him feel stuck in the middle. Maybe you could ask your ex to compromise and for this woman to only be around your son very occasionally. Sounds like a horrible situation to be in!

TreeTop7 Tue 16-May-17 13:55:31

What age is he? Does he know about the affair?

SuperRainbows Tue 16-May-17 13:59:24

This is an awful situation that your exh has put you in. He should spare you this pain and is choosing not to.
He's not putting your ds first.

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