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Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Divorce/separation

Is this a fair split?

15 replies

Straightinmybasket · 15/05/2017 19:25

I’m in the middle of a divorce and have just been issued with the Decree Nisi. We split almost 3 years ago and although it was exh choice we get on well for the most part. We have 1 DS who’s 5.

So its now time for my exh and I to sort out what we’re going to do with the house we jointly own and how to split it. We purchased the house in 2008 with him putting in a £15,000 deposit. From the start, we always paid half of the mortgage each and have continued to do so since splitting in July 2014. Also since splitting I have spent approximately £10,000 on updating the property and repairs. He does not want any claim on his original £15k or any claim on my pension. (He does not have one).

The outcome we’re looking to achieve is for me to stay in the house with DS. I’m not able to buy exh out so we know that we will need to draw up a consent order (I think that’s what its known as). We both agree that he would continue paying half the mortgage and that I would cover the cost of any repairs and updating. To reflect this, the split when sold would be 60% to me, 40% to him. He suggested a 55% to me, 45% to him. My ultimate question is – what seems fair? His suggestion or mine? I we both just want to get it right without being unfair to the other.

We tried mediation and both found it to be a complete waste of time and money because the mediator spent so much time talking about unnecessary things we didn’t get to discuss any of the above. So before I go back to my solicitor to advise that I’m ready for a consent order to be drawn up, any opinions on what it should look like would be greatly received!! Thanks everyone

OP posts:

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MooseBeTimeForSnow · 15/05/2017 19:39

How old is DS? What will trigger the sale - you cohabiting, remarrying, DS leaving ft education?

MooseBeTimeForSnow · 15/05/2017 19:41

Is DH able to get another mortgage? You do realise that if his name is still on this mortgage you are both jointly and severally liable? If he stops paying, the lender will look to you to pay in full.

Is he paying half the mortgage in lieu of child maintenance?

LightYears · 15/05/2017 19:46

.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 15/05/2017 19:48

Unless he is a high earner it is quite unusual for him to continue to pay any of the mortgage.

Straightinmybasket · 15/05/2017 20:08

All those things moose mentioned would be a trigger. He's not a high earner and is self employed. He's currently not able to get a mortgage. DS is only 5. He would also continue to pay maintenance

OP posts:

Ditsy1980 · 15/05/2017 20:17

Could you cover the whole mortgage payment if he stopped paying? It tends to be the significant high earners who carry on paying mortgages.

As he's self employed what if his earnings drop and he can't afford to contribute?

What if you get a new partner who moves in? Have you discussed what would happen in that situation?

Easy for me to say but I'd prefer to remortgage and buy him out now.

Straightinmybasket · 15/05/2017 20:54

He earns approx £25k pa as a plumber. He used to earn more when he worked for a company but when he was made redundant he wanted to be his own boss.
I currently work 18.5 hrs - my DS started school this yr and no opportunity to increase my hrs yet. I do get tax credits.
My financial advisor said I'm not in a position to remortgage and buy him out.
I really don't know what to do for the best!

OP posts:

Straightinmybasket · 15/05/2017 20:55

Oh yes so with my wages and tax credits I take home £800 a month. That's not including his half of the mortgage and maintenance which is £600 a month

OP posts:

LightYears · 15/05/2017 22:19

Double check your Tax Credits, if I've worked it out correctly, I think you should be getting more. I'm in a similar position to you and do.
The whole deal with your ex sounds a good one, I just wonder how long he'll keep the mortgage and maintenance payments up, people's attitudes change as time ticks on and circumstances change. I've been through this, my child was the same age too. Best wishes.

Straightinmybasket · 15/05/2017 22:34

I'm so sorry I made a mistake, £800 is just my wages! I get £90 per week tax credits then the £600 covering mortgage and maintenance. I do realise a lot of people get far less than this and my ex has been good with money. I just want to do the right thing for both of us but without spending a fortune on asking my solicitor it's hard to find out what is fair

OP posts:

LightYears · 15/05/2017 23:02

That sounds better.
Have you thought about what you'll do or the position you'll be in when the house has to be split?

MooseBeTimeForSnow · 15/05/2017 23:28

Do you have a Solicitor? It might be worth asking them for their advice on how the local Judges view the type of order you're looking for. Some don't like them and won't make them.
How much equity is in the house? I would say that if your husband is having to wait 13 years to get his share it should be a 50/50 split if you could convince a judge to make such an Order. Some judges are very keen on a clean break being achieved.

mrssapphirebright · 18/05/2017 15:26

OP, its likely that if your exh stays on the mortgage and continues to pay half the mortgage then you will need to change your deeds to be tennants in common, which means you each own a share in the house 50:50 or 60:40 whatever is agreed.

it is likely that the consent that is drawn up will state that you are both equally responsible for the mortgage payments so if one of you can't pay then the other will have to pay. If the other can't pay then the house will have to be sold.

i know that a lot of courts prefer what is known as a clean break, hereby all the financial ties are cut at the point of divorce. The main reason for this is that circumstances change and untimately stuff will usually end up back in court.

If your ex is made redundant or unable to work you will be screwed and have to sell your house. What about if he re-married and has more children? Your maintenance will then reduce.

expatinscotland · 18/05/2017 15:33

One of the biggest mistakes women make in a divorce is trying to hang onto the house. There's a lot of pitfalls in this type of agreement, especially if he is self-employed, hence, why many courts favour a 'clean break'.

Suebromley · 20/05/2017 14:34

Im going through this now and a clean break is the obvious choice especially with a youg child. Expecting him to be in a position to pay mortgage for another 15 years until your child is 16 is unreasonable and unlikely to happen. He will meet someone else have other commitments and stop paying. Do either of you have other savings?

Selling spliting 5050 and starting again would be the most sensible approach

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