Having told my husband of 15yrs last July that I wanted us to separate he was remarkably reasonable about it all. He was very upset & spent months trying to convince me to change my mind. Eventually he said he would respect my decision & we would try to make things as easy for our 2 kids (13 & 10). I have been sleeping on the sofabed in the lounge since the summer. We went to counselling & decided to agree things between us. We have agreed on money, access, just about everything & I have paid to have it drawn up in a separation agreement (ready to be signed). I have had a mortgage agreed to buy him out of the family home so that the children & I can stay here. I have stretched myself to the limit to do so as I agreed that we would split all the marital assets 50/50 so he could afford a decent place for the kids too.. Other than a few, understandable rows over the last 10mths things have been remarkably amiable. (the one exception when he came home drunk, became threatening & I called the police)
He has put in an offer on a flat (& taken the kids to see it) that meant he would need no additional mortgage or loans, it has been taking a long time with little info coming from the vendor. He has now decided that they are messing him about & has decided to withdraw from the purchase.
He has now said that he cannot afford to move out so will probably be around for the next couple of years. There is nothing in his price bracket, he refuses to rent & claims no-one will give him a mortgage as he's self employed (£10k ish declared income) and is too old (54). He has just told the kids he is staying & the youngest burst into tears.
I am at my wits end, I have only managed to keep things this civil as I could see light at the end of tunnel, without that I don't think I can keep up this facade. His solution is that I should go & stay in my parents spare room (in a flat) & he'll look after the kids here.....WTF ! He has no family locally so says that's the only solution. So unless I can come up with an additional £40k (already giving him £100k) he's not going anywhere. I don't believe there is anything legally I can do to make him move, any ideas, I just want to cry,
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Divorce/separation
All agreed, now he won't go.
9 replies
BeMeAgain · 12/05/2017 19:56
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