OH has been in the forces for about 15 years, good salary and pension. Due to him being away most of the time of most years we have been together I went part time with first dc, and occasional work with second dc, to fit in with his career. Anyone know how the access arrangements would work for someone who is in a position of being out of the area up to 9 months of the year and things being subject to change at the last minute? I obviously wouldn't mind having the kids with me full time, but would find it difficult to get a job to support us, having to practically do everything myself. Also, would I just have to hand the dc over for visits at his convenience, or would he need to adapt his job as far as possible? We have argued over many things for a while, he said he wouldn't change anything jobwise if we divorced, it sounded like he still expected me to be the unpaid childcare, facilitating his exciting (and sociable) job. Any thoughts?