Seperation Agreed - Tips For Telling Children Please

[NotOriginalNamechanger]

My 'dh' and I agreed to sepearate before Easter.

It was entirely my decision and he has accepted it. Eventually.

We are going to be sharing the house for the next 2 years for financal reasons.

All that is changing for the children is that I am out a lot more (have a few weekends away booked and go out walking every other weekend) h is out more also.

So we need to tell them

I've said to H it needs to be a short conversation. Along the lines of;

• we love you both very much
  
• we love each other as friends now not husband and wife
  
• we remain a solid Team
  
• and as family in this house for the forseeable
  

What else should we say. He's asked me to lead the conversation as he has a habit of rambling on too much. I'm Happy to do this.

Any advice is appreciated. Many Thanks.

[MrsBertBibby]

www.resolution.org.uk/divorceandparenting/

[MrsBertBibby]

Lots of advice there. Also some resources for kids.

[bigchris]

All that is changing for the children is that I am out a lot more (have a few weekends away booked and go out walking every other weekend) h is out more also.

What about bedrooms? Previous poster has good advice,

[bigchris]

Depending on the age of the children yiu could also check your local library for any books that might help

[NotOriginalNamechanger]

Thanks all of you.

That website is great.

Bedrooms is an odd one. DS ends up in with me before DH goes to bed so he sleeps in his room. Works for now....

Library I'll pop to this week also. They are 11 and 5 years old.

Thank you

[Honeyandfizz]

I separated from h last summer our dc were 13 & 12. I decided to tell them individually whilst they were in their separate bedrooms, we then got together in the lounge for a chat. I knew they would both react differently, which they did, so felt it best to do it that way. Once we all sat down together we promised them we were still friends but more like brother and sister and that h would still be very much part of their lives. They were obviously upset but truthfully have been far better than I could have hoped.

8 months down the line we are all getting on fine and have adapted well to our new family life. H and I are still friendly and the dc see him all time.

[NotOriginalNamechanger]

Honeyandfizz thank you for sharing sounded like a positive thing all around. Hadn't thought of telling them separately. Good idea.