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Words of wisdom? How long is the tunnel?

(3 Posts)
longingforalife Tue 25-Apr-17 22:52:28

Long story short.... married over 25 years, one DD (teenager), I'm from abroad. Decree nisi earlier in the year.

I've come to the gradual realisation that he's not just a difficult man - he is an emotional abuser. We have lived tiptoeing on eggshells for years. Hideously we all still live together.

He wants 2/3rds of the matrimonial pot (approx. £300,000 total) so he can buy a wee flat. 'no-one thinks about me' he bleated. That's all we have done for years.

I cannot tell you how angry I was at this first mediation meeting that he took nearly 3 months to organise. Clearly I did not agree...

second one is later this week. I have a time pressure as DD is nearly at exam stage and we will be moving to my home country once sorted.

He is not yet threatening not to let her go but my solicitor has warned me that it is likely to happen. So I am looking at court for a child removal permission and for finance.

Can't see him agreeing at this second mediation to anything sensible if he even turns up.

Can anyone advise how long it has taken to sort out something like this in court once the solicitor has been set loose?

OMG. It's all so stressful. sad But I could NOT keep living like I was. angry

WellWhoKnew Tue 25-Apr-17 22:59:41

Anything from one year to four. If you're provincial, poss six months if he plays ball.
But 18 months or so outside of London to go to final hearing. Sooner you apply to court, the sooner the system starts. Most people settle way before final hearing though.

longingforalife Tue 25-Apr-17 23:08:30


WellWhoKnew, thanks. I am hoping that he will consult a solicitor when he gets proposal from mine. He has his head in the sand and has not talked to anyone about the divorce yet. Not even DD!

I have tried to tell him that I am not trying to screw him but am being very reasonable and that he'd be much worse off if it goes to court and will be better all round for all of us including (especially) DD if he would just take some advice.

I just want it over.

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