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What do I do for the best?

(7 Posts)
IronNeonClasp Thu 20-Apr-17 17:34:27

We split up end of Dec. 2 DC under 7. House joint owned mortgage. Currently amicable. I am totally fed up of living with him as he doesn't go anywhere and I sleep on the sofa every night that I am there if I haven't managed to stay out say once a week at a friends.
House is tiny cottage that needs lots of work. It's a 1 1/2 bed, tiny back bedroom has bunk beds in and that's it (that's how small it is) and is in negative equity. Kids keep asking for own rooms.
Mortgage was with NRAM at peak purchase. Now with Landmark mortgages around £59k left.
OH earns much less than me. We are finally having proper 'discussions' now.

So my options are:
1. Transfer current mortgage into my name, take on house, bills etc Give him 5k (take out loan?)
2. Sell house. Could take ages and would like not to live this way for the unknown!
3. Transfer house over to him although he could not afford it tbh.
4. Anything else?

TIA

IronNeonClasp Fri 21-Apr-17 07:12:53

Anyone?

AnnettePrice Fri 21-Apr-17 07:52:16

If it's in negative equity why would you do 1? If you take on the mortgage you are taking on his proportion of debt, then you are putting yourself in more debt by giving him 5 grand. I presume also you would have the kids living with you which means you would be paying the lions share of the cost of bringing them up, and at their ages that's a long time.
If you have no savings or anything else of any worth between you an the only real asset is the house, either.
1. Take over the mortgage and he can pay you for taking on his debt and homeing his children.
2. Sell the house and work out what % of debt each of you will take on of the -ve equity.

Do NOT put yourself in major debt and take on all the financial burdens and give him more money, he chose the debt as much as you did and he needs to take on some of the responsibility for it as well as the responsibility for making sure there is a roof over his DCs heads.
Be glad your STBXH has a job so cannot easily shirk his responsibilities.
Good luck

IronNeonClasp Fri 21-Apr-17 10:42:55

Thank you for sound advice.
I think the problem is I have been paying his way for many years and he has nothing to give me really other than half mortgage/bills. I'm not expecting him to be able to contribute anything moving forwards tbh.

Hermonie2016 Fri 21-Apr-17 14:21:53

I think ideally you should try to move to your future house asap so its 1 move only.How much negative equity? Could you afford to buy a 2 or 3 bed on current salary? Is there anyone who could help you, like family.

If you can afford to move to another property then I would sell or get him to take on the house.I'm guessing you are not SE as can't imagine any house available for 60k!

Completely agree though don't take on his debt, if he earns he will have to pay something going forwards.

IronNeonClasp Fri 21-Apr-17 14:48:04

Family will not 'help' until we are divorced so I'm looking at 2 years which hasn't even started yet as he hasn't left.

Potentially - yes I could buy a new home but have no idea how long it would take to sell this one. I'm running out of time as sleeping on the sofa and still seeing him everyday is becoming just intolerable.

I've just got off the phone from my bank and have an appointment Mon 09:30. I am paying 457 a month for the house as I have never reviewed the mortgage so am hoping the bank can help me with this!

Thanks for your posts.

FinallyHere Fri 21-Apr-17 14:59:23

It sounds as if you are having a tough time. One point, though, it is however possible to legally separate even though you still live in the same place, just by declaration, I understand. All the best.

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