First mediation session tomorrow - what to expect?

[JLbaby]

I have my first session tomorrow, what can I expect?

I originally wanted to do shuttle mediation (ex h is narc, EA, and controlling) but mediator didn't have 2 rooms available and in the interests of speeding things up I agreed to be in the same room - am now wondering if that's a good idea?!

We're discussing child arrangements tomorrow - how does it work? You say what you want and then he says what he wants etc?

Am v nervous!

[LegoStarWars]

I recently had this - but STBXH is generally decent and we are amicable and reasonable and on the same page, so it was probably a very different experience.

We started off by agreeing a set of "parenting hopes" for DS, things like we both wanted him to be happy, we wanted him to have good relationships with both of us, we wanted him to continue to be supported at school etc. This way you have these that can be referred back to when you disagree on specifics.

Then the mediator talked about different types of arrangements and we agreed fairly quickly on what we saw as ideal - though we also agreed it was flexible and subject to change if for example DS hated it in practice. Do you have very different ideas on ideal residency arrangements? It must be really hard if he's controlling. Hopefully the mediator is prepared to deal with that.