What happens to the house?

[RoseNarene]

Hi there

Some of you might recall me a few months ago talking about the discovery of my husband sexting another woman... well, I'm filing for divorce. Got a solicitor, going to pick up the paperwork today.

Ex is being a nightmare. His behaviour has been so bizarre. He sat in his car outside the house for an hour one afternoon. On another afternoon I came home one day when he was meant to be at work and he had locked the door and left the key in so I couldn't unlock it and refused to open it. I did get in later but in an attempt to get me on my own (my friend was with me) he completely stripped naked in an attempt to force her to leave me on my own with him (she didn't). Police didn't care too much, even though I told them his behaviour was becoming increasingly strange and erratic and I didn't feel safe alone with him.

We have had an arrangement in place whereby since he is living with his parents and that's an hour from his work, he would stay at the house Wed/Thurs nights (kids are in nursery those days, and they're the only days I work). He would then pick the girls up again on Saturday to stay with him at his parents and bring them home Monday morning before he goes to work again.

But he has responded to my contacting the police by issuing me with this letter that states he intends to stay at the house more often (50% of the time), and I can't stop him because it's a joint mortgage and he has every right to be there. He wants to do Wed/Thurs/Fri nights and alternate Tues nights. This would mean me coming home Fri morning to look after the kids and then have to leave again Fri night, like some kind of babysitter. Not happy about it at all, but I'm guessing I can't do much about that. Should I just be grateful he isn't pushing for 100%??

But my real question is... at what point during the process can I actually kick him out of the house? I should be able to take on the mortgage on my own if I get my entitlement to tax credits (though as I understand it, the mortgage company has to agree to let me) but since it's in joint ownership, how does this keep him out of the house? Do I have to wait until the end of the process? Can the court order his name off the mortgage? What does the court do to keep him out of the house? Anything?

And what if we have to sell it? Whilst we are trying to sell it and the divorce process has ended, can he still just stay there until it's sold? I won't be able to afford to move out and pay rent or something somewhere else so I will have to stay there too.

Thanks for any help or insight or experience anyone has to share. I appreciate it because I am totally losing the will to live over this. I hate him so much for what he's done to me and even though he's at fault he is pushing for everything he can get, it seems.

[EnormousTiger]

Turn the genders around and look at how you would feel if he said you could only be in the family home one night a week. Legally you are both allowed to live there until you divorce. In our case I could afford to buy my ex out. He was advised by his lawyers to stay in the house until the last minute through to decree nisi, agreement over finances, sealed consent order on the finances, degree absolute, conveyancing and remortgage into my name and transfer of money to him. At that point - it took 7 months - he moved out. I could not force him out before (and he could not force me out either by the way - the law is fair). In fact some couples even after divorce share a house as they cannot afford two and they might convert it into two but I am not recommending that.

If one of you cannot affodr to buy the other out then on the divorce the house will be sold and both of you can stay there until that is done unless you both agree something different.