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Unreasonable Behaviour

(5 Posts)
cazzamiller Fri 31-Mar-17 20:31:06

My husband and I have split up a few weeks ago. This was my decision as I have simply had enough. The main issue is that my husband binge drinks and when he does his behaviour is awful!! He has previously become verbally abusive toward me, has called me a variety of names, even shouting at me down the street calling me a c***.

He has embarrassed me in front of friends and family because of his behaviour as he cant stop drinking so will end up drinking too much. It has now reached the point that I dread going out as I don't know how he will be.

He has made so many promises to stop drinking and he will for a short while but then start again He doesn't drink on a regular basis, maybe every few weeks but his drinking has caused so many arguments and it finally came to a head the other week when he got drunk while I was at work and he started getting funny towards me as usual.

He has also hidden empty beer cans in the garage and the boot of his car so that I wouldn't know he'd been drinking or how much he'd had.

He doesn't want the divorce but I've simply had enough and I know that he wont change as he keeps making promises, breaks them and I always let it go.

I am really struggling with listing the grounds for divorce as I'm finding it hard to word the problems without it sounding bad. I'm worried that it'll make him angry and he'll refuse to sign the papers as he has already threatened to do. So I'm trying to make it as painless as possible but all I can come up with is the following but it Is all about his drink and I know it'll p* him off.

1) The respondent drinks to excess and his behaviour becomes unreasonable in that he has become verbally abusive towards the petitioner, calling her offensive and insulting names.
2)The respondent’s behaviour in front of friends and family when drinking excessively has caused embarrassment and humiliation on at least 3 occasions to the petitioner.
3)The respondents behaviour when in drink has caused the petitioner to become anxious and nervous when attending social outings for fear of him becoming out of hand
4) The respondent continually made promises to cease drinking due to knowing how upsetting and distressing his behaviour when drunk made the petitioner feel but repeatedly failed to adhere to this

He has also had a lot of problems with being able to talk about things with me and was diagnosed with depression which was also linked to his drinking as when drunk he'd get even more depressed about things that had happened in the past with his ex wife and family

I really don't want to make this even more painful for him than it is and all the other reasons that I could use seem really stupid, like how when he shaves his head he leaves the hair all over the floor, radiator and doesn't clean it up, refuses to clean up after the two dogs when they have done their business, stuff like that.

At suggestions please???

Whatatododo Fri 31-Mar-17 20:41:18

I wrote a long list of things that bugged me about my ex, some of it quite personal eg not showering regularly, not cleaning his teeth all weekend.

My solicitor wrote a general narrative in the first person about how the marriage broke down eg stresses of work and children and left out all the complaints in my list.

I don't know what the done thing is but are you getting legal advice? Your solicitor will guide you.

Fwiw my ex was very angry about my reasons and I couldn't help thinking how he would have reacted if he had seen the original list.

Whatatododo Fri 31-Mar-17 20:41:56

So I think your reasons are fine and you are probably right to leave out the hair shaving thing.

mineofuselessinformation Fri 31-Mar-17 20:44:41

He doesn't have to agree. My XH didn't agree with the grounds I gave (even though they were true!) - the divorce went ahead anyway.

cazzamiller Fri 31-Mar-17 21:36:06

he is starting to be difficult about money and has made comments that he wont sign the papers anyway. He doesn't want the divorce and I feel as though is making things as difficult as possible to delay things so that I cant move on.

I thought that your reasons had to be different whereas mine are all based on the same thing and I am worried that when he gets it he wont sign the papers but his drinking is honestly the main reason.

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