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Financial Disclosure - how to prove ex is living with new girlfriend?

(26 Posts)
Cmrmums80 Tue 28-Mar-17 18:29:17


My husband left myself and our son for his affair partner (although denies that she was on the scene beforehand - ha), and he lived by himself for 6 months in a flat with her coming and going.

We are getting divorced.

He has now moved into a lovely town house, which is he is renting. The thing is he can in NO WAY afford to pay for that house and also pay half the mortgage for the family house and Child Maintenance.

We are in the process of starting the Financial Disclosure. THIS is where the problem is. I know deep down that he wants me to sell the house. He is going to tell the courts he cannot afford to live and therefore will need me to sell the house. Freeing up a lot of equity.

He is refusing to admit she is living with him, even though my son stays every other weekend and one night during the week, and she is always there. My son said there were New Home cards addressed to the both of them.

Any ideas of how to prove he has money on the side with his girlfriend, and it is NOT just his bank account which he uses for Rent and Bills??
He has more than enough money with both of them working.

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AnnettePrice Wed 29-Mar-17 12:41:16

If you think that the OW could also be in the tenancy agreement (as he couldn't afford it by himself), could one of the questions that get asked as part of the financial settlement be for him to produce the tenancy agreement?, that is if he goes not declare OW on form e.

babybarrister Wed 29-Mar-17 12:43:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cmrmums80 Wed 29-Mar-17 15:26:38

The point is: I don't want him using his bank account to prove he cannot afford to live. He tells me he is going into more and more debt because of paying CM and half our mortgage and his rent. The only reason he has moved into THAT house is because he knows she will be paying half the rent etc once the financials are done.

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Cmrmums80 Wed 29-Mar-17 15:28:58

He tells me she is not on the tenancy, but yes, I wonder if I could force that.

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mrssapphirebright Wed 29-Mar-17 16:16:52

Courts / Solicitors won't be interested in whether he is living with his gf or not. Financial disclosure form only looks at his incomings / assets and debts.

The reality if if he splits up with his gf then he would still need to house / support himself. Her salary / contributions will not be taken into account.

AnnettePrice Wed 29-Mar-17 16:25:40

mrssapphirebright have you actually looked at the form e?

Section 4.6?

I'm not saying the court 100% will take OW finances into consideration BUT if the courts never did then they would not include 'or are living with another person (or intend to)' in that section.

babybarrister Wed 29-Mar-17 16:27:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrssapphirebright Wed 29-Mar-17 16:32:56

AnnettePrice - Yes i have. I have been through 2 divorces myself and my father is a solicitor. He told me that this is a pointless question and quite out of date as the courts don;t tend to look at it. Apparently plenty of people lie on this form with no consequences.

My dh moved in with me whilst going through his divorce to exw. She threatened lots of rubbish about how much better off he was with me and how she wanted more money etc - the court wasn't interested. His solicitor said that it was not worth her spending the money on court fees / solicitors fees trying to 'prove' that we were living together.

Cmrmums80 Wed 29-Mar-17 16:38:23

Well I think it would be totally unfair to not consider it. Solicitors and courts must have this situation all of the time... Of Ex's claiming "no money, we need to sell the family home."
"Oh, yeah she moved in a week after we filled all the forms in, but look at the lovely amount of equity I have to buy a big mansion together whilst you have to rent a flat because you can't afford a mortgage."

p.s Would I still be able to claim Working tax credit & Child tax credit if I had a lump of equity sitting in my bank account? If not, I would have to use the equity to drain away each month on rent.

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mrssapphirebright Wed 29-Mar-17 16:42:43

But Op his gf income makes no difference, fair or not. What if they split up? What if she loses her job? becomes ill / pregnant etc? They will base it on the information such as his income / assets and debts.

The final say will be dependent on need and will aim to be as fair to you both as possible in the eyes of the law. The childrens housing needs will come first. What is your access / residency agreement? if you are going for shared care or a reasonably even split then you will both need to afford a place big enough to have dc over to sleep etc.

mrssapphirebright Wed 29-Mar-17 16:43:38

Oh and yes, you would still be able to claim tax credits with a lump sum in the bank.

PigletWasPoohsFriend Wed 29-Mar-17 16:43:50

Well I think it would be totally unfair to not consider it.

Not really. The divorce is between you and your stbxh not his partner.

Can you afford the mortgage on your own? The likelihood is that he will not be expected to continue to pay it.

Cmrmums80 Wed 29-Mar-17 16:46:50

No way can I pay it by myself.
Most people I speak to say don't worry, he cannot make you sell.

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Cmrmums80 Wed 29-Mar-17 16:47:45

Yes, I have typed up the residency agreement which is every other weekend and once during the week. 8 nights a month in other words. He agreed to that.

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mrssapphirebright Wed 29-Mar-17 16:48:59

can you afford to pay it with tax credits and child maintenance from him OP?

If he can't afford to pay the mortgage, plus house himself adequately, and you can't afford to pay it then it will have to be sold.

mrssapphirebright Wed 29-Mar-17 16:50:48

Ok, well he will still need to be able to afford (on paper) a 2 bed flat. So they will work out the local rental of a 2 bed flat and take it from there. they will look at basic housing and living costs for him in line with how much CMS he will have to pay you etc and work it out from there

PigletWasPoohsFriend Wed 29-Mar-17 16:51:26

Most people I speak to say don't worry, he cannot make you sell.

He can or the judge can if it isn't affordable. It isn't a given that it won't have to be sold.

I know it's hard, but unless he is a high earner, which from what you say probably isn't the case, then you have to look at all options if you are unable to pay the mortgage.

Cmrmums80 Wed 29-Mar-17 16:55:51

I have read that he can make smaller payments towards the mortgage...but this would then effect his share of the equity when the house is sold when our son is 18 and/or I remarry.
If that is the case, I can afford to live here. But I do need money towards it definitely.

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Cmrmums80 Wed 29-Mar-17 16:57:31

He does love his teachers pension, so maybe I can offset it with that......

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mrssapphirebright Wed 29-Mar-17 17:00:00

I'm not sure a court can enforce this, I guess it depends on how much he can afford / how much he earns. That's what the financial disclosure is for. To look at affordability.

Most divorces are 'clean break' now, courts and solicitors try to aim for that as much as possible now.

HeddaGarbled Wed 29-Mar-17 17:03:55

You need to drop the issue of whether he is living with her, and concentrate on ensuring that you don't have a situation where he has a lovely amount of equity to buy a mansion while you rent a flat because you can't afford a mortgage.

If you do have to sell your house, which you may, the equity split should be biased towards housing your son adequately, whilst still giving your H enough to have a home where your son can stay but probably not a lovely expensive town house unless the equity in your current house is huge. That could mean you both buy smaller properties, or you buy and he rents. It is unlikely that a court would agree to a situation whereby you can only afford to rent, whilst he gets enough to buy.

Do you have a lower income and are therefore less able to afford a mortgage/rent than him? That's another reason for you to get more of the equity.

Does he have a bigger pension than you? That should be included in the pot of assets. Some couples agree that he keeps the pension and she keeps the house.

Are you getting any legal advice?

PigletWasPoohsFriend Wed 29-Mar-17 17:14:20

I have read that he can make smaller payments towards the mortgage...but this would then effect his share of the equity when the house is sold when our son is 18 and/or I remarry

Not necessarily true. The % of equity is decided on financial settlement.

It could very well be that he isn't going to be expected to pay anything. The only people I know that do are high earners.

You really have to think about it.

You need legal advice.

Cmrmums80 Wed 29-Mar-17 17:21:04

Yes, I have mentioned on the feed that I have a solicitor. I put this thread on because I wanted some advice regarding this situation so I have more of a rounded view.
I couldn't give two hoots whether he is living with her. I am purely thinking about me and my son staying in the family home!

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Cmrmums80 Wed 29-Mar-17 17:22:27

Yes, he is on £55k per year and I am on £16k.
His pension is roughly £150k and mine £11k

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