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First mediation session - won't agree maintenance amount

(23 Posts)
CreamTeaTotty Tue 28-Mar-17 11:23:22

I've just had my first joint mediation session and I'm flabbergasted!

STBXH says that £400 child maintenance a month is too much and he wants me to reduce it. This is an old figure I suggested many months ago, before checking the online calculator. The figure from the website is £600! He's earning £57,000!

The mediator didn't say anything at all.

WTF do I do?!

OP’s posts: |
CreamTeaTotty Tue 28-Mar-17 11:24:00

I have two children by the way

OP’s posts: |
jeaux90 Tue 28-Mar-17 12:29:10

Go through the CMS? Then you'll get what you deserve. What a stingy bastard

wannabestressfree Tue 28-Mar-17 12:31:18

I would say 'fine we will leave that to CMS then'...
And do it.

AmyMum2mumStoke Tue 28-Mar-17 12:38:03

Yep, go through cms and he gets fined if he doesn't pay

Ellisandra Tue 28-Mar-17 14:35:14

You don't say what your proposed child arrangements are, or whether he is paying something else in lieu like mortgage.

So £400 might be too much.

It's about the total decision.

Ellisandra Tue 28-Mar-17 14:46:38

I looked on your other threads to see if you'd posted that relevant info.
2 nights a week - I used 104 nights band a year on CMS calculator as I suppose you'll share some holidays too, rather than 103: £507 a month, where are you getting £600 from?

Still more than £507, but you also want him to pay the mortgage until kids are 18. Mortgage could be massive.

Don't be disheartened by no decision in first session - it's because there's so much to consider that there might not be a quick decision.

How much is the mortgage?

Ellisandra Tue 28-Mar-17 14:47:07

*more than £400

Hermonie2016 Tue 28-Mar-17 16:01:36

My stbxh wouldn't pay legal minimum so we are off to court.
The first session could be his negotiation position and he maybe more agreeable once capital division is all sorted.

Was your ex being reasonable? Mine was totally hostile which I knew meant he wouldn't agree anything sensible.

CreamTeaTotty Tue 28-Mar-17 19:35:59

So he only wants them both for one night a week, every other week, earns 56K and the mortgage is £267 a month.

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CreamTeaTotty Tue 28-Mar-17 19:37:58

He said 2 nights every other week initially and then after the session he said he's changed his mind to 1 night.

He's good at that too. Changing his mind...

OP’s posts: |
CreamTeaTotty Tue 28-Mar-17 19:39:11

57K not 56 😬

OP’s posts: |
CreamTeaTotty Tue 28-Mar-17 19:40:41

Also.... he had a repayment mortgage of about £700, which he then changed to interest only (when the shit was about to hit the fan) and is now £267.... 🙄

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CreamTeaTotty Tue 28-Mar-17 19:42:09

Other thing to add is that he doesn't seem to realise that arsing about with the no of nights affects the figure... Think perhaps the mediator may need to clarify this for him.

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CreamTeaTotty Tue 04-Apr-17 10:25:26



OP’s posts: |
kittybiscuits Tue 04-Apr-17 10:31:41

My mediation agreement, which wasn't worth the paper it was written on, states we would agree maintenance based on the CMS calculator. Obviously I had to involve CMS as he wouldn't provide income details. Mediators do not ensure fair treatment. They will allow you to agree an unfair outcome which is less than the legal minimum. So you have to be firm about what you want and if it's the legal minimum anyway, why pay a fortune for mediation when CMS will calculate and plan payments for a one off £20 fee. Your ex sounds a charmer, by the way. Wishing you happiness without him.

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Tue 04-Apr-17 10:32:42

Just let the cms sort it out.
He sounds like an arse..

wannabestressfree Tue 04-Apr-17 20:11:06

Let the cms deal with the maintenance. Don't let him mess you around anymore just get on with it. You need to start playing hardball.

RandomMess Tue 04-Apr-17 20:14:57

Just crack on with the CMS for child maintenance, ring up today and start the claim!

Would he be nasty enough to stop paying the mortgage so the house get repossessed even though it will tarnish his record too?

MooseBeTimeForSnow Tue 04-Apr-17 20:29:28

Think ahead. When the kids are 18 the house gets sold. What's the capital element on the mortgage? What percentage of the equity is he after then?

LewisAH16 Tue 11-Apr-17 00:41:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wannabestressfree Tue 11-Apr-17 00:57:43

Lewis apply to cms direct...

MooseBeTimeForSnow Tue 11-Apr-17 01:08:50

Ok Lewis. So what happens when he starts to pay cms and decides to stop paying the mortgage instead?

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