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Child arrangement order hearing - what happens?

(10 Posts)
LewisAH16 Tue 28-Mar-17 00:16:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DayToDayGlobalShit Tue 28-Mar-17 00:21:44

Why are they stressed about spending time with their dad? What steps are you both taking to improve the situation?

AmyMum2mumStoke Tue 28-Mar-17 00:22:15

Sorry I can't give any advice but I think you are being more than reasonable here and the courts will see this. My ex has continually threatened me with court to point that I wrote to his solicitor saying he either takes me to court or shuts up about it, he shut up about it. just wanted to say best of luck and I'm sure it will work out for you and he will be seen for what he is x

LewisAH16 Wed 29-Mar-17 20:44:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

alwaysonmymind Tue 04-Apr-17 19:48:41

Hi LewisAH16, My STBEX has brought me through the family court to see the kids even though they couldn't go due to his arrest and social services doing safeguarding checks.
I got a barrister to speak for me as I didn't want to face him. I knew I wouldn't represent myself well. She spoke to me and negotiated contact. My solicitor has said that most people represent themselves. It wasn't that bad after all. His solicitor came to us, proposed his terms, we talked about them after she'd gone, rejected them and came up with other ideas. My barrister put them to STBEX and this went on until there was agreement. To complicate matters CAFCASS were involved due to his behaviour.
We're having the last court appearance, a contested hearing, next week. It's gone this far as he wants the children every weekend and for me to take them to her house, 50miles away! Er, don't think so. It'll be thrashed out and the court will put down their orders then. I'll be glad when it's settled now.
PM me if you want to but don't be worried. Have the times that you want contact to happen ready, be prepared to explain why you think a particular time or day wouldn't work and try to be flexible. The court are acting on the best interests of the children. Do your children see a play therapist at school, for example, who might support your claim that they feel stressed. Things like that help

user1491819990 Mon 10-Apr-17 13:15:48

I've been in a similar situation to yourself and have been to a family court hearing twice in the last 12 months in respect of contact arrangements for our children.

Try not to worry too much (easier said than done I know!). There should be an In Court Mediator at the hearing who would listen to you both (independently and then together if you agree) to try and reach an agreement before the court hearing itself.

rightsofwomen Mon 10-Apr-17 23:40:26

I was in court for a CAO in Jan. It was me that took it to court.
Ex hired a barrister, I self represented.
I talked to CAFCASS, she talked to ex and barrister. Changes were made to the position statement.

We then went into court. We had magistrates not a judge.

Cafcass read their report, the position statement was read. Barrister and I had a chance to talk.

I did. Order was agreed (I got everything I wanted).

The worst part was the full disclosure of things I had done that ex did not know about (calls to police, my failed ex parte non molestation order). This will I feel discourage victims of abuse in coming forward.

LewisAH16 Tue 11-Apr-17 00:34:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

user1491819990 Tue 11-Apr-17 07:12:30

I used a Barrister for our second hearing as my ex-husband is quite an aggressive person and I felt things could get a little out of depth in court.

So, generally the Solicitor is office-based whilst the Barrister only works in a court environment. Mine was brilliant and much tougher when negotiating with my ex than I would have been! Cost-wise, can be more expensive but in my case, cost the same as my Solicitor would have done.

rightsofwomen Tue 11-Apr-17 08:29:28

My sol told me that it would be cheaper for my ex to hire a barrister as they have a fixed fee for the court day whereas sols charge per hour.

I was intimidated by it at first but it was the best thing he did. Meant I didn't have to see or speak to ex and of course aim of barrister is to leave with a final order, which we did.

I will always be disgusted though, that he showed me no humanity when telling me that he had to tell ex certain things - in a public area, no warning. That was unnecessary.

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