Divorce timeline

[Bones2017]

I filed for divorce this week. Paid £1k to start things off. We've agreed to our financials. So I'm hoping it'll go smooth as he's not contesting.

How long will an uncontested divorce take? It's crazy that 4 months ago I thought I was happily married to my soul mate. I want this to be over. X

[Oldlady50]

Horrible time babe and you have my sympathy. If you have agreed the finances I don't think it will take very long and should be too expensive. I had a bit of wrangling but after the papers went in April, decree absolute came out July/august. Don't know if that is typical but it was just my experience.

On a personal level things just got easier after it was all finalised and I have since remarried and rebuilt my life. I have never been so happy! Hope it works out for you too!

[Bones2017]

Thank you. I know there's no going back even if he wanted to. So it was me who filed. Not him. But the damage has been done and I know he's changed too much. As soon as I knew about OW, that was my decider and it's propelled me to act.
I just want the whole thing over now. Xx

[Hermonie2016]

Courts will let you know when decree nisi heard but as they have centralised courts, workload is very high so assume weeks.You can then get the financials written up by your solicitor and it can be submitted, Decree absolute can be 6 weeks 1 day from nisi and you are divorced.

It does depend if he acknowledges petition straight away etc but it really could be a few months if all goes smoothly.

I know your thread and I appreciate the breath taking speed that it has happened at.Are you ok with the financials, just take the time you need to get the right result for you and DC.
I wanted the divorce straight away as I just wanted the pain to end so sometimes we jump ahead too quickly.
The other side however is he may offer a better deal whilst feeling guilty.As painful as it is, once you are through the process healing will be faster.

[OhBlissOhJoy]

Sorry to hear this Bones, it's shit isn't it? 6 months ago I thought I was with my soul mate until I too found out about OW.
I started the divorce petition in November but STBXH dicked around and didn't sign anything until mid-Jan. Decree Nisi hearing is the end of the month and then six weeks and one day before I can apply for the Absolute. My solicitor says the Absolute should be granted within days. I'm counting down the days now until I can use my maiden name again, I hate my married name now.

[MrsBertBibby]

You can use whatever name you like, whenever you like. You really don't have to wait for Decree Absolute.

[NearlyFree17]

I feel for you Bones. Hermonie do you have any idea how long it will take from petition being sent in to decree nisi, if the other side returns the petition straight away? I can't wait for this to be over either but the court has returned the petition to my dickhead ex (who insisted on divorcing me) twice because he couldnt be bothered to follow the instructions. As soon as it hits the mat I will sign and return it.
The house went on the market today and I just want to be able to start over :(

[Startoftheyear2017]

for you Bones. Thank goodness for the wise souls on MN who are so helpful to those of us embarking on this shark infested nightmare.

[Hermonie2016]

Nearlyfree, do you know the court, as it could be worth calling and checking timeframes.A few people had different timescales on the divorce support thread but it seemed to 2-3 weeks.

[curtainphobic]

It took me 8 months on uncontested finances. Be cautious of meddling solicitors who try and persuade you to complicate agreements. It's fine to say 'no thank you'. Mine tried to talk me into spousal maintenance, pension sharing, increased child maintenance etc. Said he wouldn't be doing his job properly if he didn't highlight. But if in your own head it is 'fair' then go with it. In fact my solicitor interaction was more stressful than with exH at times. And that was a recommended collaborative divorce solicitor.

[BoringUsername17]

Thanks Hermionie, it's Bury St Edmunds. I can google it and give them a ring

[MrsBertBibby]

It's easier to send them an empty email. It pings back current wait times.

[email protected]

Apologies if that makes me a meddling solicitor.

[BoringUsername17]

Thanks for the tip MrsBB!

[OhBlissOhJoy]

Mine was Bury St Edmunds too so looks like a rough 2/3 month turn around. Golden we'll be heard at the same hearing
I was told the Absolute should go through in a couple of days after submission - anyone know if this is right or have I misunderstood?
Don't know what I'm going to think about once this is all over

[BoringUsername17]

Finally got the petition today. Third time lucky for Mr Incompetent as it was returned to him twice as he filled it out wrong so third time he got a grownup (his solicitor) to do it. Hopefully the wheels will now start to turn on removing the sorry sack of shit from my life.

[Bones2017]

I got my petition draft today but I've asked for some changes to be made. Once that's done, my ball is rolling! On to a better life! X

[Oldlady50]

Sorry sack of shit... I love it. My ex was also a useless fuck wit. ... still is!
Best thing I ever did leaving him... didn't feel like it at the time but so much happier now!

[Bones2017]

Yeah it's horrid divorcing someone you love! How do I get past that?? He doesn't want me so that helps me move forward a bit. He's in his love fog at the moment. But getting to know someone all over again (possibly) is soooo scary! And I've got my kids to consider so I'm gonna be like a protective lioness! I never want them to witness me go through this again! Ever! X

[Blobby10]

My DA came through on 15th March - we first instructed a solicitor on 16th Feb 2016. There was a lengthy hold up with the financial order due to getting his pension information and then the FO was rejected twice before going through. Total cost including transferring house and mortgage into my name will be just over £3000.

It was all amicable and we had decided how we wanted to split everything it just took time to translate that into legal speak that the courts would accept. No other parties involved and he represented himself but I made sure that my solicitor didn't slip any nasties in!

[Oldlady50]

Oh bones... it's so hard but something amazing might just be waiting around the corner. Love yourself! That's the key!

[EnormousTiger]

Get the divorce financials in a sealed court consent order before you have decree absolute if you can. Ours took 7 months (no hearings, no forms E , no mediation - we just agreed things (using our own solicitors for background advice and drafting stuff) as everything was joint accounts etc) including mortgage transfer to my sole name, payment to my ex and house moved into my name. That bit of house conveyancing and mortgage stuff actually held it all up for about 2 months at the end.

Are you sure you need to sell the house and move out of it?

[Bones2017]

Tiger my solicitor has said she may be able to get the house in my sole name too. How would she do this? My H has said I can keep the house and he wants nothing from it. I don't want to go through another mortgage application though x

[EnormousTiger]

I earned enough to qualify for my remortgage and to pay some of the equity to my husband so he got a clean break (he originally wanted maintenance from me).
It tends to be nicer for children to keep their own and better not to go into rented accommodation.

So perhaps

1. Check what you might be able to borrow if you work and could support a mortgage and possbily if you have a parent who might act as mortgage guarantor. You need also to check you could afford to pay the mortgage including housing benefit and any tax credits you might receive. Also if your husband earns more than you do he may have to pay not just child maintenance but maintenance to you which might cover part or all of the mortgage usually for a limited period until you get better paid full time work.
   

1. If none of that is possible then very often the wife will stay in the house which remains in joint names until the youngest child is 18 or until you remarry with the husband having a right to a share of equity when the youngest child is 18 or you remarry or cohabit or sell the house - that is not as good as (1) above as you both stay connected in that way but could be better than dealing with uprooting children, try to find rented flats, having to move rented flats and possibly schools once a year etc.