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Mediation for child custody – what to expect

(6 Posts)
LegoStarWars Mon 13-Mar-17 17:13:03

In the very early days of separating from DH – we're kind of agreed, but still living together and family (including DS) don't know yet. I'm the one who initiated the split, because of general relationship stuff rather than abuse/affair/anything like that.

DH has organised for us to start mediation to sort out what will happen with DS (who's 8). That sounds probably a good idea to me, I'm just wondering what to expect? My view is that we should do joint custody as we've always parented very equally. I assume that's what DH would want as well, but he won't really say anything about what he's hoping for, just says he doesn't know as he's never done this before. What are they likely to make of it all? Are they normally in favour of 50/50 custody? I really think that would be easiest on DS, he's close to both of us and can't imagine him being happy to spend too much time away from either of us.

MrsBertBibby Mon 13-Mar-17 18:28:08

Some good resources here

And here

Ratbagcatbag Mon 13-Mar-17 18:29:39

If it's amicable do you have to use mediation? We're just going through the same at my instigation, and we've agreed it between ourselves.

MrsBertBibby Mon 13-Mar-17 18:32:51

And some stuff specifically about family mediation

The mediator isn't there to decide anything. It's all about helping you and your ex decide what to do together.

It's bloody hard work if you do it right, but if you can, it's great.

LegoStarWars Mon 13-Mar-17 19:32:39

Thanks for the links smile

I think the mediation is just because DH doesn't really know where to start or what the right thing is, so he's looking for an impartial third party to bounce ideas around with, and to provide a more knowledgeable perspective. I've been reading the forums on here for a long time so have built up an idea about shared custody, different models with different numbers of days between houses etc. He doesn't have that and probably doesn't want me to be the one explaining it to him!

MrsBertBibby Mon 13-Mar-17 19:41:40

Would he look at any of those resources?

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