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Divorce now or wait?

(8 Posts)
user1487854472 Sun 12-Mar-17 18:45:12

Hello,

I am currently in a very difficult situation and I'm unsure how to proceed.

Myself and my husband separated in August 2016, after marrying in only September 2015. He became physically and verbally abusive towards me following the birth of our daughter in June 2016.

I know that our relationship is beyond repair, however emotionally I don't feel ready to go through with the divorce yet.

This is where it gets complicated as I want to protect 'my assets' for myself and my daughter. I got a mortgage on my own home very shortly after starting our relationship and he moved in about a year later. The mortgage and all bills are in my name. There's about 40k equity at present. House bills were around 1k when he lived here (now much less as I can't afford any luxuries) but he only ever contributed between £150 and £250 each month, with some food shopping each month. I also paid off 3k of his debts by remortgaging. I have proof of all of this.

However, he's made several comments about being entitled to 50% of my home because he helped to decorate (I paid for everything) and that I'm not allowed to redecorate without his say so.

I've spoken to a couple of solicitors who say that I'm pretty safe financially, as even if he did fight for anything, it'd be unlikely to go very far. But that I should divorce him
asap.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I don't know what to do for the best.

MooseBeTimeForSnow Sun 12-Mar-17 18:46:15

Divorce him now. The shorter the marriage in this case, the better.

BoneyBackJefferson Sun 12-Mar-17 18:57:01

The sooner the better.

RandomMess Sun 12-Mar-17 18:58:52

Sooner the better

Idrinkandiknowstuff Sun 12-Mar-17 19:02:45

God yes, divorce as soon as possible. Do not turn a one year marriage into a five year one by burying your head in the sand. My BIL has done exactly that and it's cost him dearly.

user1487854472 Sun 12-Mar-17 19:06:08

Thank you for your advice. I think I knew it was the right thing to do, it's just coming to terms with the idea that's the difficult bit 😢

Minime85 Sun 12-Mar-17 20:22:59

Agreed to do it sooner rather than later. It's really hard but when it's done you'll be truely free and future secure

Hermonie2016 Mon 13-Mar-17 09:29:19

Once you start the process your emotions catch up.

It felt awful at the start but a few months down the line I'm accepting of it.

It is the grief cycle, you will get to acceptance so starting sooner is better.
Courts can have long delays, so it's never immediate, 6 months perhaps as there are built in time frames and I assume he won't be that coperative.

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