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Divorce now or wait ?

(6 Posts)
user1488914221 Sat 11-Mar-17 13:52:36

Been separated 8 weeks. We doesn't ever want me back.

I am 20weeks pregnant, 1 daughter who is 19months.

I earn 19k part time , he earns 55k full time.

He has said for me to stay here in the family home and we will just work out bills etc as we go. He is horrified at the thought of a mesher order being permanent til the kids are 18. According to him it should only last 5 years until I am able to work full time again then it's split 50/50. He's a pig- suggested I should have had an abortion and that me getting a bigger share of he house is disgraceful apparently.

We have about 60k-70k equity. 20k shares but they are owed to his family although this is only verbal agreement.

I went for a mortgage appointment yest and I would maybe just get 115k mortgage. A decent 3 bed in this area is 170-190k. He kind of agreed it might be an option for me to have all the equity and we have a clean break rather than mesher. I think I would prefer this.

I will be on maternity leave next year obviously but as a teacher get good mat pay and wouldn't struggle at all.

I think he just wants to wait to divorce as he thinks he will have more leverage for a more equal split if the kids are older. He even suggested it doesn't matter if we don't file until kids are 5 and at school !! (What planet is he on 😂)

My question is... Do I just file now and get it over with ?
Or do I wait and plod along if he's willing to be reasonable and I get a bit longer in this lovely house .

In my head I want to file asap but then I think what if I can't stay in this house or get majority of equity to buy separately? I don't want to be with a new baby and stressed living in a dump.

My solicitor was rubbish the other day. Said she couldn't comment on any situation until I started procedings and had all our assets in writing.

What would you do?

Thank you in advance. Very low at the moment and need some advice.

OP’s posts: |
LillyLollyLandy Sat 11-Mar-17 15:02:08

Sounds horrendous. I don't really know what to suggest so bumping this for you.

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Sun 12-Mar-17 10:08:39

If he isn't reasonable now why would he become more reasonable in the future? If another woman comes into the picture he will likely become more of a twat. . Speak to a solicitor ASAP and they will get you in the best scenario.

user1488914221 Sun 12-Mar-17 11:24:09

Oh my gosh yes you are so right!
Haven't thought about that...the situation is only going to get worse !

Thank you ladies.


OP’s posts: |
38cody Sat 18-Mar-17 10:00:24

Another Teacher here with a twat under my roof.
If you've already bitten the bullet of discussing divorce then get out now. He will have longer to plot and hide assets and generally plan to give you as little as possible.
I haven't even told my EA drunken arse of a husband yet - I'm on long term leave from work due to bullying from HT ( I'm not alone - there are 11 of us) so I am on the floor financially.
He earns very well (but not so on paper) but he will try to pay nothing. Yours sounds a real charmer ( aborting his child!!!!).
I think I need to stop trying to work out what will happen and just tell him and see what happens. At least I can do some supply work and the property is housing association so hopefully he'll go.
Good luck - act now, you don't need that crap.

AmyMum2mumStoke Mon 27-Mar-17 23:10:15

He's going to be very disappointed, there will not be an equil split until all the kids are 18.

In terms of waiting I see what you are saying and do you really want to be doing this with a baby on the way with the added stress? The only think it's stopping you doing at the moment is remarrying. Also he sounds like a right arsehole which in time you will realise you are well shot of!

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