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Need some help sahm poss separation

(8 Posts)
Changing99 Thu 09-Mar-17 13:53:00

Have name changed for this.
Looks like my marriage might be going down the pan. Been married 10 years 3 young children 2 at school. I'm a sahm. He's sole earner. We own our house with quite substantial mortgage. What would I be entitled to if anything? Feeling very trapped. And I don't want to stitch my H up as I will be the driving force behind split.

Bloggybollocks Thu 09-Mar-17 13:56:32

It doesn't matter who decides to end the marriage, the deal is still the same. 50% of all marital assets will be the starting point. So everything from the house, cars, savings etc.
Is there equity in the house? Will you be going for spousal support or maintainence money for the children?

Changing99 Thu 09-Mar-17 14:12:24

Thank you. Sorry but I don't know what either of those mean? Possibly about 30k equity in the property i should imagine.

Bloggybollocks Thu 09-Mar-17 14:32:47

Well if you've got 3 children and you don't work then presumably you will need him to pay you a sum of money each month for their upkeep? Unless he will have 50% custody of the children? Or will they remain with you? Added to this, you can apply for financial support for yourself too, did you work before children and have to give up that job in order to look after the children?
The best thing to do is see a solicitor for an initial consultation, take in all information regarding how much he earns, mortgage statement, savings, pensions etc and go from there. If you're a sahm with three children I would have thought you'll get a lot more than 50%

Changing99 Thu 09-Mar-17 18:36:21

Thank you very much that's really helpful. I think I have a better idea. Yes I did give up my job to look after our children; would that have a bearing.
I'm conscious that I don't want to leave him in a bad way financially too. It's very difficult isn't it?

Bloggybollocks Thu 09-Mar-17 19:01:08

You have to remember though, you need to house, clothe and feed these children until they are at least 18, so any thoughts of 'stitching him up' have to go out of the window. By being a sahm you have enabled your husband to work full time while you have provided the childcare/run the home. Now you want the marriage to end you are entitled to make sure that you can still care for your children. You may need to go out to work but any assets that have built up during the course of the marriage you are entitled to, at the minimum, 50% of. That includes equity in the home, savings etc. You won't decide this, it will be decided, in law, for you. So don't feel bad, you have 3 children to put first and a new life to live.

Changing99 Thu 09-Mar-17 19:15:12

Thank you so much you've made me cry. I feel very conflicted about this, but you make perfect sense. This has been an amazing help. Thanks again

AmyMum2mumStoke Mon 27-Mar-17 23:17:30

The courts aim is that the children are well cared for and housed and this is paramount. Everything starts at 50% but things are then taken into account such as pensions, earning potential savings etc so it is likely you will get more of the equity than him. You have put your career on hold to look after your kids so he can progress and move up the career ladder, this will also be taken into account along with your reduced pension during this time. You may be asked to find work part time but only if this is feasible x

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