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help or more info needed.. can i move??

(6 Posts)
user1488834850 Mon 06-Mar-17 21:35:09

can my ex husband stop me moving up north to newcastle from bristol? we have 3 children together (10,08,06) i have another daughter to a man from leeds and he has a son who lives in newcastle as well as his family.
we are yet to divorce and no formal agreement on the children has been set in place.
my ex is not happy about it and has seen a solicitor. he is now saying he wishes to have the 3 children 50% of the time.
whilst i wish for him to continue to see his children its so much cheaper and nicer to live up there. schools are brilliant and life would be more affordable. i would encourage phone calls/skype and would drive half way for drop off and collection when he has them.
hes not over our relationship and hates my new partner, he wants me to rely on him,i just want a divorce and to move on with my life.

blackteasplease Mon 06-Mar-17 21:53:58

I'm in a similar situation.

If he's got PR you have to go through the courts I think.

Phillipa12 Tue 07-Mar-17 06:10:15

Not entirely sure but my situation is; nearly divorced, 3 dc, moved from yorkshie to wiltshire, ex now lives in manchester. Ex did see a solicitor about stopping me moving so far but solicitor said as i was moving to wiltshire for family support (dad, 2 sisters and 1 brother) there was nothing ex could do about it, incidently if i was moving just because i wanted to then ex could have gone to court and stopped me, ex also couldnt/didnt want to have dc 50/50. The dc see their dad everyother weekend and its a long time sat in the car eow for 3 small children and a 7hr round trip on a good day for each of us is not pleasant, we now meet halfway but then that is still 3.5 hrs on a good day twice in a weekend,

MrsBertBibby Tue 07-Mar-17 16:14:03

It's one thing to want to move on, it's quite another to effectively terminate your children's relationship with their dad.

It's not fair to them. Do they want to leave him behind? Do they think Newcastle is fantastic? Do they understand what massive travel plans you are making for them?

Legally, your husband can ask the court to intervene, and a court will decide what to do. You may "win", you may not. Either way, it's a pretty shitty thing to do.

user1488834850 Tue 07-Mar-17 17:00:39

Why thank you for this helpful opinion... All of which is not helpful and all what im all to aware of... You dont know details you dont know my children. Judge as you please... Shitty thing to do would be to go on holiday 11 days after his third child was born and 2 older boys had chicken pox without a care or second thought... Shitty thing to do would be to leave twice and not see the children for up to 3 months... Shitty thing to do would be to take a job in London and leave his wife and 3 children without a care or consideration for there opinion on the matter but just so it suits himself... Go out to the pub every night go come back friday late sleep in till 11 then doss about and then leave back for london 2pm on sunday without a phonecall how are you or the children inbetween..... But the minute i make changes it dont suit!!! Yep pretty shitty thing to do.... I agree

Hermonie2016 Tue 07-Mar-17 23:49:01

How long have you separated? What are the current arrangements for him seeing his children?
I appreciate your ex may have been irresponsible but the law protects the children's right to see their dad.It would impact their relationship significantly as it's very far away so contact would so difficult for them.They would be in a car for very long periods which isn't ideal of them.

This isn't the relationship board but I think you might need to consider if moving to be with a man is the right thing for your children as you are taking them away from everything they have known.

My friend did this year's ago when her dd was 10, she resented it and it has damaged their relationship.Now her dd is an adult she judges her mum even harsher, can't see why she put a man above her needs.

Have to ask why your new man won't move to be near you..you have more children so greater impact.I would be cautious.

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