Talk

Advanced search

Separated and unsure what to do next

(6 Posts)
Bones2017 Wed 15-Feb-17 11:27:11

Ok me and husband separated early December. 2 young kids 7 & 3.
Only just feeling strong enough to think about next steps.
I'm part time £22k a year. He's earning £48k a year with quarterly bonuses of £2.5k a piece. I'm in the marital home. He wants to give me £600 a month and 30% of any bonuses.
Non of this has been agreed too as part of a legal separation. This is just between us.
I'm off sick at the moment because of all this. He's in work and moving on getting a flat etc etc.
I've seen a solicitor who said it would cost approx £2.5k to divorce and sort all assets inc debts. She said I'd have to pay then we'd sue him for all legal costs. She bamboozled me a bit with all her advice and I didn't proceed because I'm only 11 weeks post separation.
But just not sure what to do now. I have no savings because we used them all to help buy this house 3 years ago.
Any advice?

NotJanine Fri 17-Feb-17 14:22:46

If you are both in agreement to divorce and can agree the financial settlement between you then you only need to pay for the divorce petition (£550) and the consent order (about £300 to solicitor and £50 to the court)

Obviously if things are more complicated then the costs can rise massively.

Do you have sufficient grounds to divorce him?

Bones2017 Fri 17-Feb-17 15:51:54

We aren't both in agreement to divorce. He has no grounds to divorce me really but seems to want out of the marriage. I have grounds to divorce him (emotional detachment and abuse) but I'm not feeling ready yet. We've only been separated 10 weeks.
But I'm worried if I leave things too long, I'll be at a disadvantage somehow?

nigelforgotthepassword Fri 17-Feb-17 16:58:20

2.5 k seems an awful lot if you have already agreed the financials...mine is costing a grand (between us)in similar circumstances wth re having worked out custody and finances between us ( after taking advice from solicitors which we paid for separately-but again I've only paid about 300 quid so far. Maybe shop around a bit for a solicitor?
The starting point is a 50/50 split of all marital assets-don't know if you have equity in your house or whatever?
Think there is a child maintenance calculator that you can google to find out if that maintenance figure is roughly appropriate.However you can also ask for spousal maintenance if you feel you need it (you won't always get it, but you can ask).
One of you has to be the petitioner in the divorce-you can do it on grounds of two years separation, adultery or unreasonable behaviour. It doesn't matter which one of you it is (unless it's important to you personally-as it maybe is in cases where one person has cheated I guess).it easier in terms of your time to be the respondent.You don't then have all that much to do, again if you have agreed custody/money before.
This is all bloody stressful, so I do feel for you being off sick.

NotJanine Fri 17-Feb-17 17:17:52

There's no rush to divorce if you are in agreement with what he is going to be paying you and the living situation. I don't see why you would be worse off if you wait?

If you're the main carer you can claim CTC so make sure you do that if not already done so. And obviously child benefit.

Hena1982 Mon 20-Feb-17 02:37:05

Hi - don't feel you need to rush into anything I have been separated from my husband since Nov 2016 and he is wanting a divorce but has no grounds. Even though I have plenty I just don't feel ready and try to take each day as it comes and deal with one aspect at a time. Maybe you can come to an agreement between your self. You could get all your agreements written and legally converted into a consent break order (I think it's called that)

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now