divorce with kids in one house and parents moving between homes(4 Posts)
Has anybody tried a divorce where there remains a "family house" and that's the kids' home, but the parents each have a small place that they go to when they're not looking after the kids? So instead of the children moving homes every few days, it's the parents that do it?
Is this a mad idea (finance permitting obviously) or has someone done it and it works? I don't like the idea of moving every few days, but then if I don't, why would the kids?!
And this is in the case of an amicable divorce.
And hypothetical, because I'm trying to make sure that when it happens it will be amicable and brainstorming to find a solution that works to our situation, rather than just doing what is normal, because it's normal (and wondering if I might find out from this thread if there's a very good reason it's normal!!).
Not me personally but my friend did similar. She stayed in the family home with the dcs and she stayed with family when ex had contact so the dcs didn't have to go between houses.
They did it for years and it worked well for them, they changed it when they both met new partners
Thereotically sounds like a plan as long as all the practical things are worked through:
- Cleaning/chores: one party will end up feeling mightily pissed off if the other leaves housework/dishes/children's laundry
- DIY: when things need fixing in the family home or improving/up keep/whatever how does this work?
- New partners: are new partners allowed to visit or stay, what are the ground rules? How would you feel if ex-DH slept with someone in the family bed that you would then be sleeping in the next day or vice versa?
- Finances: how will bills be split?
- Groceries/meals: who will grocery shop? Does each parent shop for their part of the week or does one shop for the whole week? If the latter how do they know what to buy for the time they won't be there?
I think it could work and more stable for the children but logistically much more difficult for the parents.
Also, what happens once one parent gets to the point of living with a new partner (it would be reasonable to expect that they wouldn't then want to live out for half the week especially if they have their own children together)?
Thanks for your responses. And some very good points to think about there Stumbly.
I'm wondering too if the children would feel left behind in a way? Instead of staying with Mum and then staying with Dad, it would be Mum not being there and then Dad not being there.
But then there's more stability too...
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