Talk

Advanced search

Would I be reasonable in asking for spousal maintenance for a limited time?

(16 Posts)
Blushingm Sat 11-Feb-17 17:28:43

Stbexh and I split in July. I'm half way through my nursing degree so am not able to get a full time job unless I give up my course. Before studying I worked part time and looked after the dc.

I'd only want spousal maintenance until I qualify and maybe 6 months after just to make sure I've got a job etc

At the moment he pays the mortgage in lieu of child maintenance but wants to stop and cut it down to minimum child maintenance.

He's currently living with his parents and claims he pays them rent (I don't believe that) but he says he wants his own place and can't unless I take on the mortgage which I can't afford

nigelforgotthepassword Sat 11-Feb-17 17:34:53

Bit unreasonable at all.why just for a limited time?

nigelforgotthepassword Sat 11-Feb-17 17:35:27

not unreasonable! Not bit unreasonable!!

Blushingm Sat 11-Feb-17 17:39:47

Just limited as once I qualify my earning potential will be much higher than it is now

He thinks it's unreasonable and that he should pay minimum child maintenance so he can move on........

nigelforgotthepassword Sat 11-Feb-17 17:51:27

I'm sure he does.But that's not how it works unfortunately.You need a solicitor to advise I think...

MrsBertBibby Sat 11-Feb-17 18:09:53

If he can afford it, it would certainly seem reasonable. Dropping to nominal thereafter, so you can apply to extend if need be.

Northernlurker Sat 11-Feb-17 18:13:36

What a bastard. Easy to see why he's an ex. He wants to pay the minimum legally possible so he can 'move on'. From his responsibility to his kids?

Lawyer up op 😀

Evergreen777 Sat 11-Feb-17 18:16:24

I think your biggest problem is the mortgage. The bank isn't going to let you take it on if you can't afford it, even if you had a few years spousal maintenance awarded. But your ex won't be allowed to take on a new mortgage until his name is off yours (unless he's earning enough to pay both)

The best solution would be to try to persuade him to stay where he is until you finish your course and get a job (likely to be easy with nursing) Then you can afford to take take on the mortgage and come to some agreement about spousal maintenance if your earnings are still quite a bit below his because of your time looking after kids. Could you point out to him that it's much better for the kids to stay in the home they know and not to end up in insecure renting?

meditrina Sat 11-Feb-17 18:17:00

Spousal maintenance is awarded less readily these days. But for a specific time in order for the spouse who gave up/reduced sharply their independent income to restore their earnings, then it is a wholly reasonable thing to seek.

Mermaidinthesea Sat 11-Feb-17 18:21:53

Make him pay, as if he pays rent to his parents, that's a lie - it counts for nothing anyway, when my son came home to live with me it was assumed he did not pay rent to his mum so that was not counted in to the finances at all!!!
He is bloody lucky you are training for a good career that will support you and your child in the long term. A lot of women would do nothing and just sit there receiving maintenance for as long as possible.
He has light at the end of the tunnel so he should stop whining and put up with it.
Make sure you claim for as long as it takes to get a good job.

MrsBertBibby Sat 11-Feb-17 18:25:32

I think your biggest problem is the mortgage. The bank isn't going to let you take it on if you can't afford it, even if you had a few years spousal maintenance awarded. But your ex won't be allowed to take on a new mortgage until his name is off yours (unless he's earning enough to pay both)

This really isn't a problem. Courts often leave one party's mortgage capacity stuck in the house they've left.

See a solicitor, OP.

Blushingm Sat 11-Feb-17 18:32:07

Part of the reason we split is that I 'deceived him in to allowing me to got to university'.......his parents haven't spoken to me for 3 years as they disapproved of me studying and he didn't stick up for me.

I've said I'll remortgage in just my name when I can afford to when I qualify but no one will lend to me with my income which is tax credits child benefits and NHS bursary. I'm currently paying everything including our debts but he pays the mortgage

Blushingm Sat 11-Feb-17 18:36:53

We are at the mediation point at the minute as I can't really afford a solicitor. As he's paying the mortgage I'm classed as not having housing costs so I don't even qualify for legal aid so I'm paying for mediation

GoosevonMoose Sat 11-Feb-17 18:38:48

If he's living with his parents then he's not exactly wealthy. I honestly doubt you'll get SM but you need to ask a solicitor who will need the form Es from both of you to really give you an opinion. The most likely scenario is the house will need to be sold unless you have other significant assets.

Blushingm Sat 11-Feb-17 18:45:34

He's not wealthy but he's not on minimum wage either

reallyanotherone Sat 11-Feb-17 18:47:35

What a bastard. Easy to see why he's an ex. He wants to pay the minimum legally possible so he can 'move on'. From his responsibility to his kids?

Or he may mean move on from the house and marriage

If you're the one to leave, with your equity and credit tied up in a mortgaged house, a minimum of 25% of your salary paying cm, plus trying to scrape a deposit and first months rent o.n a property suitable to have your kids overnight, replace marital assets like washing machines, cars etc, in can be a struggle.

Not saying anyone is right or wrong. It's just fact when you try to split one family home and assets in to two. It doesn't go, and one or both parties will struggle financially until they get back on their feet.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now