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A good day and a bad day in equal measure

(8 Posts)
OhBlissOhJoy Tue 07-Feb-17 23:00:11

I had to meet STBXH today for mediation to discuss the financial settlement. We had agreed to use a mutual professional friend rather than go through formal mediation. I was so nervous, STBXH has been an absolute shit to me since we split (following disclosure of his affair) and has made threats, lied to me and stolen. He owed me tens of thousands which he had been refusing to repay me.
So it was a big day for me. I'd done my prep, got my bank statements and prepared a document listing all he owed me. We met, I presented the document and told him I was not prepared to negotiate - I had already written off x amount to get to that point. He agreed to repay me this amount - and actually as the discussions continued he also agreed to repay me what I had written off. Such a massive relief.
I come home, relieved and happy but within half an hour am crying my eyes out. The tears have finally stopped 9 hours later. I met him, and during the time I was with him I lost both of my parents and much loved aunt, and went NC with my sister and by default her children. I literally lost everyone I loved. And then lost him too.
Today is a fresh start for me. All the worry and stress of the past 5 months is over. It's such a cliche but really true - a new chapter for me. I hope it is a better one.

fusspot66 Tue 07-Feb-17 23:01:29

flowers

OhBlissOhJoy Wed 08-Feb-17 00:19:55

Crying again. I feel so broken.

OhBlissOhJoy Wed 08-Feb-17 00:21:45

I've lost everyone I loved.

50ShadesOfEarlGrey Wed 08-Feb-17 00:27:11

You have been so brave. I am sure that this reaction is partly having held yourself together for so long, and suddenly the relief that he has cooperated, and that your finances are sorted means you can deal with some if the person centred events. I hope things work out really well for you. flowers

Keeptrudging Wed 08-Feb-17 00:34:46

Well done on getting to this point, that took a lot of strength. Maybe it's time to think about building some bridges with your family? (If you can) flowers

OhBlissOhJoy Wed 08-Feb-17 08:33:35

Thank you for your kind words.
No going back to family, those bridges are well and truly burnt.
I slept well and have woken up with puffy eyes but feeling a bit brighter.

Keeptrudging Wed 08-Feb-17 17:38:32

You'll get there, baby steps and try to be kind to yourself flowers.

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