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A bit of advice needed

(3 Posts)
stueyg Tue 07-Feb-17 07:22:54

OK - so straight off I am a husband/father not a mum, but I am really looking for some advice/guidance here. Apologies if I'm not welcome.

My wife and I separated amicably last year - we have two grown up children both of whom are balanced and well settled. I continue to provide for her - she stayed in the home, and I make sure she is comfortable and wants for nothing.

I have recently started a relationship with a lovely lady (C) who herself is going through a very messy divorce with an abusive (mentally not physically) husband. She has a 10yo D and a 9yo S, and hubby has decided that he would like majority custody (he is offering her two weekends a month if you can believe that!). This is a man who by all accounts in 20 years has never changed a bed, cleaned a bathroom, ironed, shopped, hoovered....

C is happy with joint access, and wants a fair split (50-50) of the finances, but hubby has told her that he is happy as they are and is prepared to drag it out for years before he gives her a divorce or any financial settlement. He is refusing mediation. He has had her followed and has hacked her phone ( I didn't believe that was possible, but there are facts about us he knows which he couldn't have obtained through any other means). C is in a bit of a state obviously.

So a couple of questions. I really don't know what she can do (and her solicitor seems quite weak). If she left the house, would that weaken her case for children/financial arrangements? Can she force hubby to leave the home? Can she force mediation? If it goes to court and he has persistently refused mediation, does that make her case stronger?

Grateful for any pointers - apologies again if my presence here is unwelcome, but I really do need a mum's perspective here.

Take care all.

jeaux90 Tue 07-Feb-17 20:25:20

Hey. You might want to post this in relationships. There is way more traffic on that thread. By the way, if he is abusive mediation is never recommended.

stueyg Tue 07-Feb-17 21:01:02

Thank you jeaux90 . I have done that. I do appreciate your help. He is mentally abusive rather than physically. It's the children I worry about and his plan is ridiculous. We'll see. She's such a lovely lady and I worry about her. We're not all bad you know?

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