This is a Premium feature
To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet.Start using Mumsnet Premium
Can he claim all of mortgage payments back?(15 Posts)
I'm nearly at the end of my divorce but the family home is not selling. I moved out in August and my ex remained. The children came with me but we have an amicable arrangement with them. He said he would take on the mortgage and reimburse himself for the payments made when house was sold from the time I left. I decided to avoid him getting a big sum at the end of it that I would just pay half.
I'm staying with my mum and it's getting a bit much. I pay my way at her home but feel me and my 2 girls need our own space. Problem being I can't rent and pay my share of the mortgage. I've suggested to my ex that if he takes on the mortgage again then could it be that just my share of non payment goes to him out of the sake of the house and not the full amount as effectively he's living for free?
Am I missing something or is he still being a greedy money obsessed arse? X
I'm sorry... He's living there and you're still paying half the mortgage? That doesn't seem fair at all!
This is insane. I'm guessing you don't have a SHL (shit hot lawyer) engaged yet?
Don't tell me, he says there's no need to yet lawyers involved. Or you are scared of his reaction if you do?
You are almost certainly being screwed over.
Get to a solicitor. One used to dealing with greedy bullies.
How much child maintenance is he paying? Why aren't you in the house? The person with the children most of the time usually stays in the house. Was it the only way to escape him? Bog standard bully boy? Solicitor. Asap.
I was in a similar situation and was advised by a lawyer that he is actually supposed to be paying you rent to live there since your separation.
So if you aren't making mortgage payments it just cancels itself out. The rent he's supposed to pay you is actually just your half of the mortgage.
However this advice was not for the UK, but a very comparable country.
Worth investigating with a UK lawyer.
Have had solicitor (pussy cat!) yes he is a controlling bully and I left the family home to get away from him but also moved back to my home town so needed to get yr 6 child sorted for senior school etc
Anyhow.....all my friends think I'm strong etc for leaving him, my home, our business(I still work for him remotely) my life.....but he still scares me and I back down when he starts. I can take on any argument or situation and stand my ground....except when it comes to him. He pays maintence but I pay it straight back and more with the mortgage, was told I was making things hard not allowing him to have his new girlfriend to stay!
He earns double to me but is SE so works the system.
He's ended up with 100% of business and house will go 53/47 to me and god I had to fight for that. His solicitor wanted 50/50 on house and 100% of business! Because mortgage is not high we will both be able to buy outright hence his advantage.
It's really getting me down. When he doesn't get his own way he snarls and I just give in as I know how nasty he can get.
When DH left I took on the full cost of the mortgage by myself, as it should be. He's massively taking the piss!
Get a better solicitor.
Can you contact the mortgage company and see if you can change to interest only until you sell? Not sure how simple this is, or of its even feasible, just a suggestion
It is usual for the party who remain in property to pay all of mortgage in lieu of occupational rent.
Mortgage company only allowed interest only for 3mths😢
Solicitor is aware! It's near the end now so best I can hope for is his "better" nature. He said that I chose to leave but couldn't leave my responsibilities! X
My ex charged me for mortgage payments once the house was sold even though he told me that if I wanted to separate that I would have to leave as I didn't earn enough to cover the mortgage!
I was fuming but wanted to get away from him and he had been stealing money from me all our relationship.
It's not right though
I feel your pain newlife as I am struggling with a shitty STBXH.
In my position I left the house as I was scared of him. He is now living there, refusing to sell and not paying the mortgage. To keep my credit rating I am having to pay the mortgage on the house plus pay for where I am.
My solicitor is aware of this and has said we will go for compensation as part of the financial settlement. Of which there is of course no guarantee that it will go in my favour. It's all so bloody unfair.
That can't be right.
When i split with my ex, i was told by my solicitor that in order to keep in the home until it sold i was preventing him from benefiting from the property. So therefore i had to pay half the mortgage and the full interest percentage, he only had to pay half the actual repayment (IYSWIM)
The tricky bit you would have is proving that he's preventing you from benefiting, e.g he's changed the locks.
I would talk to another solicitor, assuming they are his children 50/75 seems to be more common split?
Im only going from experience on both of those though, i obviously have no legal training or understanding of the ins and outs of your situation.
Is he holding up the sale and presenting the property correctly?
Have spoken to him and agreed if he pays full mortgage then when house sells he can recoup 50% not the full 100%.
This is so exhausting. Really want to just curl up and fucking cry!!!😢😢😢
It's an unofficial but accepted practice that whoever remains in the marital home whilst it's being sold will pay their half of the mortgage. They also should pay the other parties half of the mortgage as 'rent' as that party are not benefiting from living in the house but own half.
I believe it's not technically the law, it's how the law is interpreted to be fair to both sides by a family court judge.
Bullies want everything.
You should be entitled to 50% of the equity in the house. A percentage of his business. 50% of any pensions and savings he has. Spousal maintenance for a short period of a few years until you can get back to work/ on your feet. And child maintenance at 10% of his wages/ income. This can carry on for each child until the year the youngest finishes university.
This is your base line. It's hard when you are scared. You are fighting for your future needs and The needs of your children. Get a SHL to do the talking for you. Don't settle because you are scared. Go get a second opinion, take it to family court if you have to. It's expensive but a good lawyer will get you more of your share. Costs can be awarded to your ex to pay.
You won't get a free half hour with a SHL! They don't need to use that method to get clients.
it may not be too late to stand up to this bully. Usually bullies realise that if you take it to court and you stand to gain your fair share, they back track very quickly.
I was once told that out of 100 divorce cases where the bully is 'in charge', once faced with a SHL only 1-2% ever get to court.
Well done for leaving, you are stronger than you know.
Oh thank you for your kind words. Consent order is in process of being signed off now and I just want to start my new life. He made himself so poor on paper that there wasn't anything they could do. I have inheritance from my late father so had to "agree" to stop him going for that. I couldn't have stomached that! I've got a shit settlement I know and spousal! I pay him!! He may have got more but if that's what will make him happy good luck.
Have my kids and lovely new man. Yes I feel cheated but getting away from him ASAP is my focus xx
Please login first.