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Children's contact with their dad

(4 Posts)
Katie0114 Fri 13-Jan-17 00:26:02

Hi
I'm wanting some advice from anyone that may have experienced something similar,
My husband and myself split up 16 months ago he moved out as I asked him too due to his unreasonable behaviour(lazy, selfish, stayed in bed all day,abusive towards me). I started divorce proceedings in august and as of next week should be able to apply for the decree absolute all going well. We have 3 children together aged 6,5 and 2. He was staying with his mum until a couple of months ago when he got a flat of his own and moved 10 miles away. At first I was letting him have the children every weekend as I was only able to work when they were at their dads however he has made no effort to get a job and has paid me £30 in all since he moved out of our home, I have currently stopped taking the children over and it took him almost 2 weeks to get in contact to ask where they were. He stated that he should not have to pay me anything towards the upbringing of our children as when he stays with him he feeds them so it costs me less! One of the reasons I'm not talking them over is the 20 mile round trip that I have to make whilst getting no financial assistance from him! I want to know if I'm being unfair by doing this? I'm not trying to use the children against him, I want them to see their dad and have a good relationship with him. any advice would be gratefully received? Thanks

Katie0114 Fri 13-Jan-17 00:27:53

Hi
I'm wanting some advice from anyone that may have experienced something similar,
My husband and myself split up 16 months ago he moved out as I asked him too due to his unreasonable behaviour(lazy, selfish, stayed in bed all day,abusive towards me). I started divorce proceedings in august and as of next week should be able to apply for the decree absolute all going well. We have 3 children together aged 6,5 and 2. He was staying with his mum until a couple of months ago when he got a flat of his own and moved 10 miles away. At first I was letting him have the children every weekend as I was only able to work when they were at their dads however he has made no effort to get a job and has paid me £30 in all since he moved out of our home, I have currently stopped taking the children over and it took him almost 2 weeks to get in contact to ask where they were. He stated that he should not have to pay me anything towards the upbringing of our children as when he stays with him he feeds them so it costs me less! One of the reasons I'm not talking them over is the 20 mile round trip that I have to make whilst getting no financial assistance from him! I want to know if I'm being unfair by doing this? I'm not trying to use the children against him, I want them to see their dad and have a good relationship with him. any advice would be gratefully received? Thanks

mrsb83 Fri 13-Jan-17 06:15:43

Hi,
Firstly have you contacted CMS? They will get in contact with him and sort out how much he should be paying you, but he should be paying as you are the main care giver for the children.
Secondly, it is not your responsibility to take the children to see him. If he wants the children then you need to 'make them available' at an agreed time. For example, you could agree he can pick them up Saturday morning at 10am and bring them back Sunday at 5pm or whatever time suits you. But, it is his responsibility to sort the transportation.
Hope that helps xx

Katie0114 Fri 13-Jan-17 07:23:56

Thanks yes it does help.😊 I contacted CMS they said they couldn't do anything at that point as he had no income and wasn't getting any benefits! I will try contacting them again. Thanks so much for your advice. X

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