Husband has moved out and there's been no contact

[TomHardysBitontheside]

My husband moved out on the 2nd Jan. We have been married for 17 years and have two children (16 & 13). I wasn't totally surprised he left. He left about ten months ago for 3 days, saying he needed space and that he no longer loved me. He came back and told me he really wanted to make it work.

It did work till about August but gradually we went back to how we were, culminating in him telling me he "wasn't feeling it" and left last week.

We didn't really argue, but he seemed to gradually withdraw from family life, never wanting to do anything with us, showing little interest in the kids hobbies and school stuff. He never wanted to do anything with me. He wasn't horrible, but he was quite grumpy and miserable and very emotionally cold. He only hugged me if I asked for one. He only told me he loved me if I said it first. Deep down I know this is right. I could not continue to live with someone so cold.

Anyway, since he has gone I have heard nothing from him. He has a whatsapp group chat with the kids and has arranged to see them a couple of times that way. Today he came to the house while I was at work to see the kids. He also took the car and took his mum shopping. I have no problem with any of this, but I just wish he'd let me know. I want to be able to communicate with him on a civil level. Not via the kids.

I suspect he is burying his head in the sand. He hasn't told his mum or his brother yet. He just doesn't seem to be facing up to things.

I don't want him back. Too much damage has been done. But I do want an amicable "relationship" with him, in that we can talk about things when we need to, e.g. Seeing the kids, using the car, etc.

Has anyone else's ex behaved in the same way? It is immensely childish and annoying.

[Porffor]

Sorry to read this, must be confusing not having had contact. I'm in a 'are we going to separate' place at the moment, so no advice or experience sorry.

[TomHardysBitontheside]

@porffor so sorry to hear that. That can't be easy at all. I hope you manage to do the right thing.

[Porffor]

Thanks :) not sure what the right thing is but can only go by how things feel and hope it turns out ok in the end.