advice on separation while still living in the same house(9 Posts)
My husband and I have been separated for 10 months now. When he dropped the bombshell I told him I had no where to go and as he paid all the bills he now thinks I am living there rent free. We have lived fairly amicably whilst I have been working my notice period on my business lease which will happen next month. I am now at the stage that I have no income from this but said after my notice period I would find another job and move out. He wanted to rent me a flat in the meantime but I refused saying I was not leaving the house. Now he is asking me to leave the house for overnight or weekends so that he can bring his girlfriend round. I did it once and I felt uncomfortable about the thought of another woman being in my house. Do have any right to refuse him? Or can I stand my ground for another couple of months?
Do you own your house together? is it mortgages? who's name is on the deeds? How old are you? How long have you been married? Do you have any children? Who earns the most?
Difficult to advise without this info.
The house is in his name but I am on the title deeds. I am 45 and been married for over 20 years and no children. My husband has a really good income whereas at the moment I have not a lot of income as I am in the process of selling my business.
If you are on the deeds surely half of house is yours? And you have a right to be there. And as to wanting to bring his girlfriend to your house, no way!
He has no right to make you leave.
Get a solicitor, and in the mean time, register your home rights. It's free.
If he wants a shag pad, he can hire himself one.
Bloody hell, he's asking you to leave your house so he can bring his current shag round? No! Fuck that. You're married, it's half yours.
See a solicitor as soon as you can. Perhaps get figures together, and any paperwork to do with ownership of the house.
You're on the title deeds. Even if you weren't, half the house is yours. Doesn't matter whose name is on the mortgage, marriage is a partnership. It often works out more sensible to have one person focusing on a high salary career and the other being in a support role. But that teamwork means that assets bought with the higher salary belong equally to both of you.
He can give you half the current value of the house, plus half the current value of the rest of the assets of course your company which you are selling is also one of the assets.
Don't move out.
Thanks everyone for the advise. I guess another part of me wants him to feel what I am feeling right now in terms of starting over. He says I have it easy as I will have half the value of the house to do whatever I want as he is buying me out and he has the hard bit as he will be saddled with all the debt as he will have to remortage the house to buy me out. I feel an emotional attachment to the house. It was our family home and we have just spent around 5 years extending, decorating and rennovating it to a very high standard and my husband did a lot of the work but so did I from the wallpaper to lightfittings, new kitchen etc. I know it may sound shallow but my heart and soul is in this house and the thought of having to leave and another woman filling my shoes breaks my heart. I feel like I could cope better with him living somewhere else and we both make new starts. He says that I am being spiteful as I would rather sell than take half of the value but I am not meaning it that way I just feel it would help me cope a bit better. He doesnt need to buy me out its HIS choice to take on another 20 years of mortgage. He feels no emotional attachment to the house unlike me and just has the attitude of why should he go anywhere. He also says if I force him to go down this road then things will get nasty between us and there is no way he will want to stay friends with me. Something I dont want but if I am honest with myself I cant see us being friends afterwards esp. as we have no kids.
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