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How to deal with the girlfriend

(10 Posts)
smileyhappypeople Mon 09-Jan-17 22:05:58

When she had no children of her own so thinks it's perfectly acceptable to play house with the boyfriends child and not to have any respect or listen to the child's mothers wishes?

Asking on behalf of my sister... her daughters dad is a douche anyway, constant battles and drama all the time because he's a complete useless dickhead! No maintenance, can't be arsed to have his dd half the time, is just awkward etc etc

Can't get through to the gf that she is just the gf and it's not a competition because she will never be her mother.
She literally ignores everything my sister says and does the complete opposite because 'she has every right to do what she wants with the child and it's nothing to do with my sister'

How do you deal with and reason with people who are completely unreasonable?!

RacoonBandit Mon 09-Jan-17 22:09:39

Why is your sister interfering on dads contact time and why is it the gf fault?

Your sisters issue lies with the parent who is caring for the child. If he is incapable of parenting safely and is putting the child at risk then your sister needs to decide about contact.
If all this is because your sister does not like how the gf brushes the DDs hair or plays with her then your sister needs to get a grip.

smileyhappypeople Tue 10-Jan-17 09:47:02

No it's further than that... she posts on Facebook about 'her beautiful little girl'. She gets involved with things that just don't concern her in any way etc.
I've never dealt with this stuff before so honestly don't know if ds is being unreasonable etc but surely at the end of the day it doesn't matter whether the gf agrees or not she should be respecting my sisters decisions regarding things like putting photos of her on social media etc?

RacoonBandit Tue 10-Jan-17 09:53:21

Gf is not the parent the ex is so gf does not have to listen to your sister. Yes she should be respectful but she isnt and your sister cannot make her.

How is your sister seeing the gf FB?? She needs to stop it as she will just wind herself up.

Your sis needs to stop directing all this at the gf and start directing it at her ex the father.
What sort of thing is the gf doing?

RacoonBandit Tue 10-Jan-17 09:55:16

As for the puctures well dad is parent too do if he is ok with it its diffcult. Plus if your sister puts pucs of DD on FB then she hasnt really got a leg to stand on.

Bettybecks12 Tue 10-Jan-17 09:55:20

The sister needs to have a quiet word with her ex, however, by the sounds and looks of it, the new girlfriend getting involved in a big part of the dad's life can't be undermined, even if she sometimes crosses the line. And who knows, she may be the mother of the half-sister or half-brother one day? It seems as though no matter what the gf does, your sister will have an issue with it. If she puts the girl at risk, that's a different story but the sister can't dictate how the dad spends his time with the girl and, essentially, what they get up to.

SandyY2K Thu 12-Jan-17 19:15:53

If there is a picture of your child on FB (on the GFs page), you can contact FB to have it removed. I know someone who did it when the OW turned new GF was always posting pics of her DC on FB.

Especially as she's misrepresenting the relationship, by saying 'my little girl '.

Tell your sister to contact FB about it.

scottishjo Fri 13-Jan-17 15:27:29

I'm assuming your sister and the GF are not Facebook friends, so not only is she sharing photographs and being dishonest about the relationship but she's sharing them in quite an open way (so people not on her friend's list can see them - either publically or 'friends of friends'?). It all sounds very immature, so she's possibly doing it on purpose to wind your sister up. But in any case, it's a child safety issue - I agree that FB should be asked to remove them. I never share photographs of my own children with anyone other than close friends for safety reasons and expect other people to be similarly careful with my dc's images.

Newbrummie Sun 15-Jan-17 13:38:28

Hard as this may sound I'd let the girlfriend crack on with it, your DD will get spoilt rotten and have a wonderful time which it sounds like she wouldn't be having if the girlfriend wasn't there and it was just dad

newlife17 Wed 18-Jan-17 00:50:28

Good on you for supporting your sister. Yes the ex does sound like a douche and I'm guessing the GF does not have any children as if she did she would know that not only what she is doing is bloody immature but as a parent you just don't behave like that.
My STBEX and I have new partners and our kids are happy with them however social media etc is not acceptable and the same rule applies with my BF son.
It's called respect!

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