I will give a very quick version of the last 2 years of my life.. my husband left me Jan 2015 after 14 years together we had a very strained 2 years but I loved him and wanted to work it out we have 3 children. He travelled a lot for work and was away abroad a lot.
His behaviour changed and I began to feel like a thorn in his side. I became clingy and anxious. He was not intimate and appeared to be drinking a lot. I began to get angry and would rant and ask if he was having an affair? He would stone wall me and roll his eyeballs and walk away and I would get so upset and frustrated. I began to lash out physically and this was so not me... and I felt crazy.
He continued to tell me to 'just get on with life' and 'grow up'
Never did he want to sit and talk about our issues. Jan 2015 I said I was exhausted, what did did he want a break? That I could not make him happy? He jumped at it and moved out for 2 weeks. He then Told me it was over.
I was devasted he was cold and hard and said everything will be fine financially and kids would be unaffected? saw the kids every other weekend for a few months then took them on holiday abroad in the may 2015 with a work colleague without telling me. The kids told me when I rang them one night on the holiday....I had met her, one of the directors he worked with for the last 4 years who was unhappily married as she made no attempt to hide that she is 6 years older and has grown up kids. Mine were 3,6 and 8 when he left.
Anyway he denied anything was going on and they were friends and even tried to say it was coincidence!?
Suddenly it all made sense..he then came back and told me he was moving to Dubai indefinitely and would see the kids once a month as we needed the money and in order for me to stay in the house...
I had a breakdown after months of anxiety and lack of sleep and was admitted for 2 weeks. It was my lowest point. I felt to blame because I had been so emotional and angry with him before he left. Horrible headspace to be in.. guilt that I had failed as a mum too.
He is living in Dubai she flies out a lot the kids have gone twice and said all her clothes are there. He would and will not mediate, negotiate anything, barely gives me the dates when he will be home to see the kids,pays the bills but paid no extra money than I had always had when we were together despite the fact he was now earning 200,000 tax free salary.
He continued to deny his relationship with her. She has txt me and rung me telling me to get over him... and finally he admitted they were together a month ago nearly 2 years later and insisted that she see the kids straight away. Refuse to mediate first with me.
He has delayed the divorce, does not respond to any emails I send. Had never shown any remorse nor say down and told me anything to my face.. the kids have been the messengers. I sent him several emotional emails over the last 2 years and he threatens me with harassment?!
He will not say why he is delaying the divorce and I'm terrified it will end up in court as I cannot afford it to...
I have felt like I have been going mad!!
They have this jet set life, she is a business owner, smart suited, I was never that person!? she has left her husband to be with him..and it seems they have all this time and holidays and I am left with all the the responsibility...
I am very down to earth, a nurse and so naturally caring and kind. I love my children more than anything. They are doing well. It inhave made sure they have had some ELSA support at school. They seem to have accepted it. So I know I am better off but I still feel envious and am sure he has painted me to be this nightmare lunatic.
All I have wanted was some closure, out years together validated instead of trashed and told I was a 'mess when he met me'
Why does he do this?
I hate it...
Sorry for long post...
Also he promised to pay keep the bills that were in his name covered whilst the divorce went thru and failed to renew my car insurance and do not tell me. I drove for 6 months with no insurance assuming it was ok as he got the correspondence and had to go to court as was told I would get 6 points and already had 6 so would have been banned. He said he would write a statement but I was in my own with the outcome...
When will I get my life back?
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Divorce/separation
Horrible break up and divorce
12 replies
Sari42 · 02/01/2017 23:17
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