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Why do I still think about it?

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Difficultyear2015 Sat 24-Dec-16 18:39:31

I left abusive ex husband last summer.
It has been building up for a long time and I told him in the February that I wanted to leave but for some reason I couldn't / he didn't listen / I wasn't strong enough etc.

I left and at the same time left my job (my employers were friends of his family).

I moved in with my parents and found new work that was in another county, in the forward planning that when I could afford to move out again I wanted a new start in a new area having always been in the same 2 villages growing up.

I eventually met a lovely man last winter, and we are now expecting a baby and are shortly to be buying a house together.

All is great and all my friends and family are very happy and see how happy and what a change there has been in me for the better.

So why is it that I can't stop thinking about the past?
I still have anger over ex for the way he treated me.
I also expect that he made a lot of shit up about me to his friends and family when I left as I haven't been contacted by any of them since and sometimes that makes me feel a bit low and lonely that I have just been forgotten about, especially when I was really struggling with it all straight after the separation.

I'm excited and so happy for the new hopeful future I have ahead.
DP is talking about proposing and although I desperately want us all to be a family with the same sirname I am a little worried that I can't get past these old demons that haunt me.

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