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Child contact

(2 Posts)
cloudyclouds Fri 23-Dec-16 23:30:09

I have recently split from my abusive ex. We have a 3 year old child together. Horrible dynamic between myself and ex partner due to the extent of the emotional and sometimes physical abuse that occurs. Which of course affects ds which is why I am keen to separate asap and protect my ds from the negative environment.
Bearing this in mind I am struggling with deciding about child contact and how often ds should see his father. It also affects my decision on where I should live/move too. Financial implications as well. Don't want to go through the courts.
Is anyone else in a similar situation and can I ask how often is reasonable for an abusive ex partner to see their child? I think it might only feasible to share every other weekend but I wonder if this would be too little or about right? All I care about at this stage is the best interest of ds and I am torn between wanting to protect him from the influence of the abusive attitudes and the need for him to have a relationship with his father.
Wondered if anyone had any existence/thoughts? Thank you!

Asaroe91 Fri 30-Dec-16 12:30:34

I am in the EXACT same position as you right now. I have a 16 month old son and a 4 month old daughter with my ex. All his abusiveness was affecting my son. I had moved by the time my daughter was born so she hasnt been affected as much. I have recently stopped contact before xmas bcz him and his mum ran off with my son after I refused to let him take him for the weekend due to his moodiness. I didnt want my son to pick up on it. He already used to came back crying and upset. As for contact with you ex why not try a couple of hours on the weekend and see how it goes. The way I did it was that my son would stay with his dad every weekend n my daugjter too when shes 6 months but he hasnt even bothered to build a relationship with her. If you have doubts then dont it. Try mediation. It would be what the courts tell u to do 1st anyway. Im in the process of starting this at the moment.

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