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Not claiming child maintenance

(9 Posts)
Tingatingatale Tue 20-Dec-16 17:11:38

I have been separated from exh for nine months now. Things were unhappy for us for a long time and I am with someone else. Exh hates me and will have nothing to do with me. Won't look at me, talk to me or have any contact whatsoever. Meeting new man finally instigated me to leave but it is something I had told him I was going to do many times previous I just didn't have the confidence or the courage.

Until recently exh has been paying a bigger share of the old bills. This has now stopped and my solicitor has asked if I am claiming maintenance. I am not and didn't have any intention of. He has the children three days a week and does a lot of cash work. I would get about £48 a week. It would make him hate me more and I don't know if I can do that. I also don't know if I can keep paying for all clubs, shoes, parties and clothes. I do get child benefit and earn a decent wage

Anyone else just leave it and manage on their own?


BlueEyedPersephone Tue 20-Dec-16 17:13:33

I do, I want my ds to have a positive relationship with exh, if I asked him for maintenance it would just effect ds.
I can cope, we do 50:50 time

peppatax Tue 20-Dec-16 17:17:40

We don't pay either and roughly 60:40 with me. It's not acrimonious but just not worth it.

Sammysamread34 Thu 22-Dec-16 01:15:11

Do you get child tax credits too? It's good as a top up of you are on the low end of annual income and it doesn't affect your child benefit.

WiltingTulip Thu 22-Dec-16 02:21:56

I don't receive any. We share dcs 50:50 so it doesn't seem necessary.

Tingatingatale Thu 22-Dec-16 13:16:25

I will receive child tax credits until April. We have children 60/40

EnormousTiger Fri 23-Dec-16 11:12:46

I don't claim and our court consent order on finances says whoever has the children with them pays (but that I must pay school and university costs whatever) so as their father never has the children he never pays. I could go to court to get something but 20% of very little is not worth it so it's just simpler I pay everything. I don't get tax credits or child benefit either.

Honeyandfizz Fri 23-Dec-16 19:36:26

I don't either even though I have the dc 6 days a week. When we separated in September it was either stay together or him move out into a decent place. The latter was more important to us. I went full time and we both have an equal amount of money left each month. He pays for bigger things like school trips etc and Xmas he has given me a lump sum. I only want maintenance if he earns more than me but at the moment we are equal.

darkages Sat 24-Dec-16 12:42:10

I don't get any maintenance. We do roughly 50:50, and Like you say, it would destroy the good relationship we have now. It's a bit of a bone of contention as my career took a huge hit when we had children (3 of them) so I could be around for them, while his career came on leaps and bounds. We both do the same job. But - if he paid maintenance he would stop paying half of clubs / etc, and it would probably amount to less.

To my mind it's worth it to keep a good relationship going. But every situation is different of course.

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