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Help....child contact order.

(8 Posts)
Sammysamread34 Tue 20-Dec-16 08:38:37

I have a child contact order with my husband so he can see the children every other wkend and half the holidays. He also has a 2 yr non molestation order as he was so emotionally abusI've, would not stop texting or turning up at my house rowing, even after doing an undertaking.
Circumstances have changed and I now have to work 16 hrs a wk to be able to get enough money to keep a roof over mine and the 3 dcs heads.
At the start of the order he swiftly realised that he couldn't cope with the 3 dcs for a wk during holidays. So I had to chop and change to be able to leave him with 4 days at any one period.
Now I'm working g and I've tried to say it can't be 5 days on 5 days off during the holidays due to work commitments, but have still divided equally, he says I'm breaching the order and I need to do what the order says.
So how am I supposed to go about working/keeping my job? He doesn't work, he's cheating esa and doing wtf he likes and he's STILL trying to manipulate me and cause more stress.
How can I change the order to help me work without getting into trouble even though I'm doing it evenly?

KatelovesJames Tue 20-Dec-16 17:19:18

You have to apply to court to change any order. I have recently put an application in as my ex keeps breaching it.

You can walk into a court and get the papers or download them from hmcs. I think it was £215 fee. If it's a child arrangement order it's form c79 you need

MrsBertBibby Tue 20-Dec-16 19:58:33

C79 is an enforcement application! To apply to vary the order, you need C100, and C1A to detail the domestic abuse.

Unfortunately, however, the court is of no use in helping you make his contact be a stand in for reliable childcare. It sucks, I know, but there it is.

KatelovesJames Wed 21-Dec-16 10:28:08

Apologies, you're right about the forms. I've dealt with so many over the past few years they merge lol

PotteringAlong Wed 21-Dec-16 10:31:21

Surely if you're now working you arrange childcare for the times you have the children?

Evergreen777 Wed 21-Dec-16 10:40:49

Can't "half the holidays" be worked out as every Monday - Wednesday (or whatever days you work)? Or does your order actually spell out that it's whole weeks?

But if he's unreliable or likely to mess you around just to make your life hard then it may be better not to rely on him for childcare in the holidays

Sammysamread34 Thu 22-Dec-16 01:10:27

Thankyou, yes I will get the forms to change it. .....and apologies, I was having a rant mainly at the time because I was so frustrated with him being so difficult! Especially as he'd already messed me about so much during the summer months. Just actually trying to make it even and fair for both during the breaks (I only needed to change a couple of days to make slightly different block days at a time), with 4 weeks notice to be able to plan and agree on it.

Anyway. ...he just wants to make it as difficult for me as possible regardless of how it affects the children. .. which I just have to accept.

He doesn't pay/contribute one penny towards his 3 dcs (and never has)...so I feel, more than, slightly annoyed at having to pay childcare because he won't agree days just to be a total arse. Example. ...today I worked, the boys I can put in a club, dd I took with me as too young for the club's. .I will get £55 for the hours I did, but paid £48 for the ds club. Obviously the extra petrol/lunch stuff/snacks etc .It all just makes me feel like giving up. Then there's always the added abuse I get from stbxh just to lift my spirits by the end of the day. Plus the fact that my son was in tears and refusing to go at first, because he just wanted to be with me and missed me because he'd only come back from his Dad's the afternoon before. sad

Evergreen777 Thu 22-Dec-16 08:30:26

sadflowers
It is hard isn't it? Especially if they're not even enjoying the holiday clubs and would rather just be at home with you.

It does get easier as they get older I've found as they do enjoy clubs more, and then get old enough to leave.

Do you have any holiday clubs available where you can pick and choose which days to go? There's one or two near me that do. Might save you a bit whilst you are doing alternating weeks with your ex.

If you're on tax credits, make sure you're claiming the childcare costs - you should be getting 70% of your costs back via tax credits.

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