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Maintenance being cut

(13 Posts)
pieceofpurplesky Fri 11-Nov-16 17:59:47

Exh wants to cut the maintenance he pays me.
I know I am lucky that I get a good chunk of money each month. He has to pay £650 for DS and then pays half the mortgage. He then rounds it up to £1500 (about £200) and as part of that uses my sky package in his new home on his laptop.
As you can see he earns a lot of money. He pays no tax as is a partner in a company and the company pay it, he gets a very generous car allowance but only spends a fifth of it on his (very naice) car. Even after he has paid the £1500 to me each month and that is added to my salary he still has double what I earn (plus £1500) in total.
When i first met him he worked in a bank behind the counter. I was a teacher. For the first ten years I was the major breadwinner and supported him and his son (who he paid maintenance for) and never questioned it - paid for holidays etc. My parents paid for us all to go abroad at least once a year and always paid for his son too. I supported him whilst he retrained and took a job on less money in a new field.
Then he had a stroke of good fortune and landed on his feet in a new job. His wages went through the roof so I gave up my career (I was an assistant head) at this point, had a baby and went part time. As exh was away with work and out of the house 530 in the morning to 730 in the evening every day was essentially home alone.
When he left it was agreed that he would pay £1500 which was as above. Life has been ridiculously hard. My pay means that I could not afford to move anywhere in this area - I could not even rent for the £600 I pay for half the mortgage. Ex pays nearly £1000 a months for a small (but very nice) apartment. There have been some months that I have had to borrow money off my parents to cover bills etc. And to feed DS.
He rarely has DS overnight (think once a month, no time in half terms, a couple of days at Easter and a week in summer). I don't go out often (perhaps once every couple of months and have not bought myself any new clothes on two years).
I have been doing some extra hours at work and my past has increased temporarily) an extra £300 a month). There are no full time positions going - or else I would take them. He wants to now take that off me as I am earning more now.
I know it sounds grabby but am I unreasonable to think with what he earns he should continue to pay this (he has a very glamorous life that I don't envy - it was part of what separated us as I am not the champagne swilling, glitzy wife he needed!).
Am prepared to be flamed but I do all I can work wise as I also care for my disabled mum and my child who has SEN.

AndShesGone Fri 11-Nov-16 18:38:52

Go through cms, I think you should be getting more not less confused

It's 15/20% of his salary. Don't know the exact figure.

Fairybust Fri 11-Nov-16 18:44:32

There is an earnings cap which cmo take into account although I'm not sure what it is.

When you say he earns a lot how much?

On a very rough calculation I think he'd need to be on about £240k.for maintenance to set at about £1500 a month for one child.

Fairybust Fri 11-Nov-16 18:48:35

Just been on the website to calculate it. It looks as though the max a week the cmo will calculate is 294 a week which unfortunately is less than you are getting now

expatinscotland Fri 11-Nov-16 18:50:36

I'd tell him I was going to CMS.

pieceofpurplesky Fri 11-Nov-16 23:13:54

£650 is his half of the mortgage. £650'is what CSA says he needs to pay for DS. He pays £200 extra which includes his sky subscription

PigletWasPoohsFriend Fri 11-Nov-16 23:18:59

Have you got a financial agreement?

So he technically pays you over double what CMS says he should.

ruddynorah Fri 11-Nov-16 23:23:18

He doesn't have to give you £650 plus half the mortgage though. Was this agreed in the divorce?

MycatsaPirate Fri 11-Nov-16 23:25:00

Are you actually divorced? Did the courts not sort all this out for you?

If £650 is what the CSA (or CMS) state he should pay and he has to pay half the mortgage, then he is not obliged to pay the extra £200 a month although you can say he can't used the Sky package if he won't cough up half for it.

So £650 is 15% of his salary. £650 is for the mortgage. £200 is for the sky and to round up to £1500. If £650 is not 15% then ask for it to be recalculated. Also if he is still paying maintenance for another child or lives with another child now, then your payments will be affected.

pieceofpurplesky Sat 12-Nov-16 10:50:56

He pays half the mortgage and gets half the equity - his choice. He was adamant about that.

I am not sure how much he actually earns as he gets lots of consultancy payments on top of his salary. His salary is in excess of £100000 plus the extra bits which could double or treble his salary.
I was content with £1500 even though I had to change my lifestyle I am happier. When I went up to a 5 day week instead of a 4 day week the extra money meant I could treat DS and we had a bit more freedom. It is not as if exh can't afford it!

Stormsurfer Sat 12-Nov-16 18:52:41

So the CM and the mortgage are the minimum requirements. How much is your sky? I guess 200 - 1/2 sky = discretionary payment? So he can't really dock you any more than that discretionary amount?

pieceofpurplesky Sat 12-Nov-16 19:45:41

Yes minimum. He's trying though.

Bettybecks12 Tue 15-Nov-16 16:25:54

Why does he want to reduce the payments? If he wants to do that, he needs to go to court - after all, it's all needs based which also means that when you got divorced it was agreed that he pays you a certain amount...no? Why does he want to reduce payments now? You didn't answer the question about whether you actually got divorced. Part of what I also read between the lines almost hints at you thinking you should get more...?

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