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Received divorce papers - please help?

(7 Posts)
oxcat1 Mon 31-Oct-16 12:10:28

I have just received the divorce papers but I have a number of questions, please?

1) it states that you have 7 days to confirm receipt, but because I have moved house and the post has been forwarded, that expires today. Does that matter?

2) I had previously received a letter from his solicitor which asked whether I would like to see the papers before they were served to the court. I replied that I would, but this has not happened. Any idea why?

3) the reasons that he has given for divorce on the grounds of my unreasonable behaviour are devastating, and completely pull apart what I considered to be many years of happy marriage. However, what particularly concerns me is that he states that he gave up his full-time employment to help care for me, to the detriment of our family finances. He states that this was due to my ill-health, but claims I manipulated this health. It is true that I was very unwell - thought to be terminally ill - and I am now much recovered. However, he did not give up work for me - he gave up work for a number of reasons but mainly because he was fed-up of working for his current employer, he had tried unsuccessfully to get some other jobs, and because he wanted to go freelance. We discussed this, and I tried to suggest that he didn't, but we did agree that he could easily get back into employment (as opposed to self-employment) by claiming that I was now much recovered, thus covering his break.

I don't want to get into a financial dispute, and we don't have any money between us. I assume this line has been put in to prevent any claim of spousal maintenance, as I am solely dependent on benefits due to my ill-health? Can This allegation be used against me or are the reasons not relevant to any financial discussions?

Please help in any way you can.

hermione2016 Mon 31-Oct-16 12:27:39

So sorry you received the paperwork without notice as it must be a shock.

Sometimes they ask for the draft to be sent between the couple, maybe on email.Its usually best to do it this way to prevent the shock of the petition.

The grounds do not affect financial settlement.I was told by a solicitor that the grounds have to show marriage breakdown so can sound quite firm.W e have a fault system which most solicitors would like to see removed.

You can as I understand it, deny all the allegations in your response, make counterclaims but it doesn't affect the outcome.The reasons aren't public knowledge.

Do you have a solicitor? I would suggest getting some advice even if 30mins free.

Spousal maintenance depends on the circumstances, do you have a house between you? Are you able to support yourself through benefits, are there children?
Ultimately a couple either agrees or a judge decides on spousal maintenance.If the finances are very unbalanced, such as he earns significantly and you don't, then spousal can be awarded.

oxcat1 Mon 31-Oct-16 12:34:04

Thank you Hermione.
I am struggling to think straight - the papers arrived on my birthday (!), and now I have just today to deal with it, so I don't think I can get free advice in time.
I am going to CAB but they don't open until this afternoon.

He has not sent me the papers, even though I accepted the solicitor's offer. He doesn't earn substantially, although he will now be living rent-free as he has moved in with OW, who has just herself got a very large divorce settlement. My own income is simply benefits.

leavesfall Mon 31-Oct-16 15:24:49

That's sad to hear. In such case, I advise you to ask some help from Z GROUP LTD as I did in my time. I didn't have any idea what to do when I was in divorcing process. They can figure everything out. Here's a link. Good luck...

Familylawsolicitor Tue 01-Nov-16 11:28:16

There will be no adverse consequences if you are a bit late returning the forms. Unless you are so late he has to pay to have them personally served on you which he won't do for a while because at this stage the court could still be processing the reply and you have moved house.

It's poor form not to send you a draft but perhaps your ex instructed his solicitor to just issue.

The details have absolutely no bearing on finances or arrangements for the children. However you can state on the acknowledgement form that you do not

Is he claiming costs on the petition? If so your form needs to state that you dispute paying costs as you were not sent a draft and dispute the particulars. You can attach a short statement to your acknowledgement form replying to the particulars which may help if a judge has to determine who pays costs of the divorce. It's costs of the divorce itself not sorting out finances generally so £550 court fee then solicitor costs anywhere between c £500-£1000+ vat. State you are on benefits.

A week or so to get advice and return forms will be fine.

Blobby10 Fri 04-Nov-16 10:45:37

The way that the solicitor has to put down the grounds for divorce makes even the most basic of 'unreasonable behaviour' sound awful!! When I had gone through it with my solicitor I phoned my STBEx and warned him that it wasn't me it was just the 'legalspeak' making it sound awful!!

Blobby10 Fri 04-Nov-16 10:46:43

The way that the solicitor has to put down the grounds for divorce makes even the most basic of 'unreasonable behaviour' sound awful!! When I had gone through it with my solicitor I phoned my STBEx and warned him that it wasn't me it was just the 'legalspeak' making it sound awful!!

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