Help MN, EX threatens ds on his 21st bday!!!(11 Posts)
MN help?? Iv a dreadful issue and I just do not know what to do, you may not know either but a friendly ear and any suggestions would be great fully appreciated.
Apologies it's so long I can't shorten anymore, new to MN & not sure we're to post question?
Ok so years ago when I was still married we saved as most family's do, we put money in bonds for ds's and had some of our savings also in bonds.
I discovered purely by accident during marriage difficulties that he had removed all our savings books bonds etc out of our home, he actually forged my signature to change address to his mums to stop me having access.
I was furious & heartbroken that he could be so deceitful.
Due to the fraud ns&i locked down the account at my request so he could not do anything else.
I confronted him advised if he try's to do anything else he'd be arrested for fraud as I know and so do ns&i. He didn't apologise demanding it's all his money.
So He knew years ago that the money in the eldest's account I wasn't going to let him take, so it was gone to him.
My marriage ended a few years later after his arrest for DV, divorce started and although I am now officially divorced it is still far from sorted or over.
He left us in huge debt,and hasn't helped Iv a disabled child also & suffer health issues myself.
When ds came of age I have him his bonds, ex still had all the old original dockets but ns&i had as I say canceled them years before so they were worthless.
My son after receiving his money then went and paid it off some of our largest debts and bought his disabled brother a new bed. I didn't know what to say when I found out I couldn't believe his first thought was to help us, he is the sweetest kindest lad you could ever meet and this was typical really of his nature. He really stepped up after his father left and became the man of the house and I don't know how we would have ever coped without him tbh.
He turned 21 the other day & ex calls my ds as he wanted to meet him for his bday to give him card, so my son went.
To his horror and confusion dad presents the old bond paperwork and says "son I'm giving u bonds I saved for your future years ago BUT what I want you to do is get them cashed in and u will give me 3k back! You can Keep half for you.
The rat new full well they were worthless and gone????
My son was confused & shocked, he just said thank you leaves and calls me.
My poor son then went into a panic as he instantly knew what he was trying to do and he was so scared that his dad would find out he had already cashed them.
I calmed him down & told him it was his money anyway it never was his fathers, it was saved for him.
I told him call dad and say "dad after I explained to mum about your gift, she said that they are no longer there to give as she took control over them, so if you need to discuss it, mum said she feels it best you should do so with her because it's nothing to do with me & she doesn't want me or younger ds involved.
As he already knew that anyway, but the ex calls my son back threats began to fly he said you best tell that bitch (shortened version) I want 3k
Telling my son the only person who can get the money is him as they are in his name and he wants my son to give him 3k
We know his game, he figured as Id locked it all down and stopped his chance to get it that he could use his 21st to at least threaten his way to getting half.
To do this on his 21st is beyond me, Iv tried to contact ex but he refuses to speak with me hasn't since leaving but he persistently passes his threats through my ds's.
My boys are frightened of him and I am too as he's been a horror in past, ie: a few wks ago he orders illegal steroids from Thailand but sends them to fmh not his own home, he's not lived with us for 2 years but he sent to us So he doesn't get nicked if it is looked at by customs.
Furious to think he'd send this to his ds's home.
I refused to allow my boys to deliver his shipment to him, I messaged him to say do not ever send your drugs to our home again. What followed was horrendous threats & bullying.
He's still demanding the money and is going to call my son today!
What would you do at this stage?
Police. Tell them about the threats and the fraud. Also alert NS&I. Tell the police about the steroids too.
The bonds were in your DSs name?
In which case the money is his.
Any threats from his father should be reported to the police. As should any threats to you.
I'm really sorry you are in this horrific position. It sounds terrible and tbh I would not be encouraging my DC to maintain contact with this man. Id be doing the exact opposite and advising them to steer well clear.
What a vile man. I would certainly call the police, this is extortion really.
Police definitely and tell them about the drugs too.
I agree it's everyone else, this is a matter for the police.
And what a lovely son you have, you should be very proud of him.
Hi thank you so much for your reply's
Problem I have is police are just not interested honestly! When I had him arrested he had a huge draw I found and broke into full of all sorts of drugs you really wouldn't believe me when I say how much.
The police said its not illegal and although it is illegal to import them the cps wouldn't charge as it's not financing a viable case, the threats he made to kill me were also not acted on. Sure they removed him arrested him and kept him the night but released without charge. So I was devasted I felt let down. The police were pushing me to make a statment promised all sorts of protection but the cps then said no!
So if I call them they just annoyingly won't help.
My eldest hates his father but is too scared to cut contact so he thinks he is better safer being polite. My youngest is autistic, I wish I could stop them seeing him but he seems to have this hold over them I can't stop. their gf is dying and is very very poorly they both say if they didn't see dad then they would be prevented from being there for there grandad to say goodbye. So he uses this over them too. He is the worst man alive he turned into a monster I cannot believe it's the man I married. So although Id Luv to stop him seeing them it's difficult I just don't ever feel I can be free of him. According to him im going to learn I do what he says not what I want.
Youngest just took a call from him, he told dad he's not feeling up to going out today, (as he knows he will be questioned) but dad told him you have to and you need to see your grandfather.
He has not called the eldest to go just the younger son.?
I wish I didn't get up today, tried to say to him no just tell him your ill. But he won't.
So by the time he returns today I know I'm going to have another situation to deal with.
Youngest is 17, if I could pick them up and run I woukd. We can't move due to finances so im held owning house with ex.
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