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Ex threatening to default on joint mortgage.

(10 Posts)
bakerboo79 Tue 27-Sep-16 09:31:29


Please help I am in a right state. I left my partner a year ago in October following years of emotional domestic abuse. 2 months later he convinced me to reunite with him but I did not return to the family home. I found out 2 weeks ago he's been cheating the whole time. I have ended the relationship.
We have a toddler. I was a full time mum.

He has now made me a ridiculously low offer to sign off the mortgage and says if I don't accept he will default. He also says as I am the lead applicant on the mortgage he will not be blacklisted, I will. I can't afford to accept the offer (he's left me in debt) I'm not working. Im just absolutely terrified. He's not a reasonable person in anyway at all and I feel terrified and backed into a corner.

please please help. Any advice gratefully received.

MrsBertBibby Tue 27-Sep-16 09:44:06

He's quite wrong about the impact on his credit, and he knows it.

Not a great deal you can do tomake him pay, but I strongly suspect he is just trying to bully you. As per.

redannie118 Tue 27-Sep-16 09:48:18

He totally wrong and he knows it. Tell him you've had legal advice and they said it does not make the slightest difference who's name is first-you are both 100 percent jointly accountable. Tell him if he wants to utterly destroy his credit rating and the chance to gethan a mortgage ever again he should go ahead. Well done for being strong flowers

bakerboo79 Tue 27-Sep-16 09:55:10

He knows I've taken legal advice.
They advised I try and negotiate by email with him first but he has blocked my email and is refusing to budge on the offer.
He just burns solicitors letters so I don't know what to do next
I'm falling apart with worry sad
The other offer he made was for me to pay half the mortgage until it sells but he knows I can't so that's a pointless offer too.
If he does default will I ever be able to get a mortgage again ?

bakerboo79 Tue 27-Sep-16 09:57:15

He says he doesn't care if he gets blacklisted anyway he's happy with the decision. He just keeps pushing to see our toddler. I don't know what to do I've been bullied for so so long i can't take anymore especially not over our child.

bakerboo79 Tue 27-Sep-16 11:03:31

Could I contact the mortgage company and request a payment holiday. In which case what do I say to them ?
Also Its due on 1st October.
Can I then instruct and estate agent and provide them with a key for viewings. I know he'll leave it in a state but do I need his permission for any of this ?
I know he doesn't want to sell it as Im entitled to 60% (which I've said I'm happy to negotiate on with him) so maybe if I threaten to do this he may make a better offer ?
Im still stuck though with getting it done before the 1st.....
oh heavens sad

ImYourMama Tue 27-Sep-16 11:05:44

First port of call is always contact the lender who your mortgage is with and explain, then ask them if they are able to suggest anything. Does he want to buy you out of the house of vice versa?

greenfolder Tue 27-Sep-16 11:09:49

Take some control back. Contact your mortgage lender and explain the situation to them. That you are dependent on x making payments and it is possible that he will not. That you are taking legal advice and may have to take action to force the sale of the house but you will keep them updated.
if you cannot pay the mortgage this month, you cannot. There is no point in worrying yourself to death over what you cannot control. You are not living there. Will it affect your ability to get a mortgage in the future? Yes, it will at least short term but again this is not in your control at this point.
there is legal action you can take to force the sale of the property. Speak to your solicitor.

bakerboo79 Tue 27-Sep-16 11:25:28

Thanks everybody helps me feel I'm not quite so alone.
Does anyone know how I could for the sake ? His mother forced the sake of their house when she left his father (physical domestic abuse) but he delayed the sake and viewings until she was forced to accept a pittance

bakerboo79 Tue 27-Sep-16 11:25:53


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