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Financial help please.

(12 Posts)
Layana Tue 20-Sep-16 20:31:27

I'm divorcing a biploar narcisist on grounds of adultery (to speed things up. I don't hive a flying f**k about his new partner, but need out of the marriage.)

It was an emotionally and financially abusive marriage.

I agreed to be a SAHM until DD went to school this term. Which she has now done so. I've held a 6h a week job, basically minimum wage, after maternity leave (from same employer as before maternity.) I am oping to up this/habe no bloody choice, but can't for health reasons at present.

I'm on Income Support, struggling to find a solicitor willing to advise me because I'm probably going to have to take legal aid.

He's currently paying child maintinance, but that's it. I don't want to claim spousal maintaince as it only, yet again, increases the percieved control he has over me.

BUT in terms of pension provision for me (and essentially my DD) where can I look up my/DDs rights?

CAB just tell me to apply for legal aid and get a solicitor to go through it all with....helpful when I can't find one locally at all.

Finding the £550 court fees is going to put me in even more debt.

Any advice is more than welcome. Thank you.

OP’s posts: |
Tiggeryoubastard Tue 20-Sep-16 20:33:44

You wouldn't get any spousal maintenance unless there's very good reason. It's thankfully not the norm anymore.

Layana Tue 20-Sep-16 21:10:08

I essentially abandoned my career to be a SAHM with his agreement. I'm pretty sure there's some responsibility on his behalf somewhere.

I don't want to claim spousal maintainence as I've said, but I can't seem to find anywhere anything to help me through the pensions stuff.
Unless judges genuinely do just make this stuff up as they go?

OP’s posts: |
Tiggeryoubastard Tue 20-Sep-16 21:16:56

I'm sure you'd be entitled to half the pension accrued during marriage. But definitely no spousal.

Blushingm Wed 21-Sep-16 18:09:36

If you're on income support you can apply for help with the £550. You do it online and it provides a reference to put on your d8 form

user1474193901 Wed 21-Sep-16 19:20:09

The £550 court fee is a discretionary fee. I had to fill out an exemption form (to show my finances for the last 3 months - wages and bank statements) but was earning too much so I Wasnt exempt. But i would think you'd be entitled.
If you're on a low income then you will probably be entitle to legal aid for mediation (if you need it). This legal aid for mediation doesn't have to to paid back either.
Keep looking for a solicitor.

Pootlebug Wed 21-Sep-16 19:40:32

What assets are there from the marriage - pensions, house, cars etc? The starting point would be 50:50 on these, although it can be varied - and as the sahp would be more likely to be varied in your favour than his.

For pensions you need an actuarial valuation - it basically tells you how much his pension is worth in today's money. He needs to get it from his pension provider.

hermione2016 Thu 22-Sep-16 20:33:56

Spousal maintenance can be paid if the ex has a high income and the resident parent is on a low income.Assets start at 50:50 but then alters according to need so that's why there doesn't tend to be generic advice as it's very situation specific.

All assets are put together vs needs on both sides and a deal done to achieve the 'best' result.
Lower earning partners are encouraged to maximum their earning but children responsibilities are taken into account.

HeddaGarbled Thu 22-Sep-16 23:15:36

Look at this:

Layana Sun 25-Sep-16 07:31:04

Thank you.
I found a solicitor willing to walk me through next steps.
Court costs are covered thanks to being on IS.
I'm going to use financial mediation and post a solicitor to sort out the outcome and use any money there, though finding a mediator isn't easy.
No assets other than his pension that I'm aware of. Rented accommodation (off his parents) and he's got himself in to even further debt since I left. So it's basically just his pension. Apparently it marriage qualifys as a "long marriage" 10+2yrs cohabitation, so that will likely be taken in to account. Especially as his career has progressed within the same very fixed organisation. One where it wasn't feasible for me to pursue mine after redundancy because of the fixed location.
We'll see.

OP’s posts: |
Familylawsolicitor Sun 25-Sep-16 07:37:02

This booklet is the most practical plain English read I have come across, written by a group of senior judges and lawyers and endorsed by the Judge in charge of all the family judges in the country.
Read it carefully especially the chapter on pensions and worked examples at the end (which include pension sharing and spousal maintenance examples)

Familylawsolicitor Sun 25-Sep-16 07:37:52

Just seen hedda has already posted a link - great minds

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