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Lack of attraction and sex now. Confused.

(3 Posts)
wishingawaytime Sat 17-Sep-16 11:18:23

My dp is not abusive or horrible. Neither of us is having an affair.
I love being a family.

It's just I changed myself when I first got pregnant. And we experienced bereavement and eviction along with a new baby. It's now a number of years later. We're settled now and our ds loves where we live. I just fancy a different type of guy now. Dp wants me to still be the same. I want him to be more active in the bedroom, life in general. He doesn't like me being weak or passive. I find our relationship boring. We are not loving to one another. He devotes his energy to his job, being a father and hobbies. It's hard for him to focus on me, partly because I never really expected it before I had a kid.

There is no big obvious reason to leave. We enjoy chatting and laughing together. We're friends. But I don't want to sleep with him anymore. Am I being idealistic to want more? Is companionship enough?

jeaux90 Sat 17-Sep-16 12:18:59

Sorry wishing, that sounds very sad. Can you sit and talk to him about how you feel? You say you changed when you had the baby, in what way? Did you suffer from PND? How would you feel about going to counselling together? I think just being companions is a sad prospect but for some couples I guess that works. Key question is about your happiness, can you be happy in this marriage? Big hug xx

andalucia7868 Sat 17-Sep-16 19:42:34

Unfortunately, after a while together couples go through this stage. You can either sit and talk, work on it or you can do what people do theses days - walk away.

Grass is not always greener on other side.

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